How can you tell if your spouse is thinking about divorce?
Look for signs that your spouse is unhappy. There are several subtle clues you can use if you just notice them. If you are a guy, you need to pay particular attention to your wife’s signals, since over seventy-five percent of divorces are initiated by women.
1. Not Resolving Conflicts
If you and your spouse can’t resolve conflicts, your marriage may be in trouble. Whether you fight or avoid disagreements, if you believe it’s fruitless to talk about problems, your marriage may be in trouble. When differences are suppressed, spouses lose respect for each other, withdraw and eventually may treat each other with contempt.
2. No Sex
Sex is an expression of affection and a way to reinforce connections. If you have not had sex for a long time, that’s a strong indication your marriage is in trouble. Sex is the glue that hold a marriage together and if it’s lacking the bond may erode and break.
3. Emotional Distance
Caring about each other is a minimum requirement for a viable marriage. If you or your wife has disengaged emotionally, you may no longer love each other. Divorcing couples routinely say they fell out of love which means they stopped caring.
4. Focus Outside Marriage
If your wife devotes her time to the children and you spend your time at work, that’s a bad sign. As emotional satisfaction within a marriage falls and you spend time apart, the opportunity for an affair grows. Most affairs happen with a co-worker who is interesting to be with and returns your affection.
5. Getting A Face Lift
Once a spouse begins planning for a divorce she may start improving their dating prospects by getting a face lift, eating right, exercising, buying new clothes, getting a new car, joining a dance class or doing other things to enhances her attractiveness. Women who stayed home may become interested in returning to work to meet new people and become financially independent.
6. Disagreements About Money
No matter how much you like your spouse, if one of you wants to save while the other needs to spend, you may be headed for trouble. If you maintain separate accounts that’s a sign of potential problems. If your spouse seems to be hiding money or you can’t account for significant funds, you may have a problem as well.
7. Not Communicating
If you have been fighting, but can’t seem to resolve any issues, shifting to a non-communication phase may seem like an improvement. It’s not. Rather, it’s a sign you have given up on the relationship and are trying to co-exist because you aren’t ready for a divorce or are fearful of being alone.
8. Expressing Contempt
When a couple is contemptuous of each other, that’s a sure sign their marriage is in serious trouble. Nothing is more destructive of a relationship that expressing contempt for your partner. If you are doing this, you must stop or get a divorce. There’s no alternative.
9. Lying to Your Spouse
This is another huge negative. If you don’t have honest communication with your spouse, you are playing with fire. If you are leading a double life and your partner finds out, that can be the kiss of death for a marriage. At that point, your spouse will no longer trust you and that’s a serious blow to your relationship. The internet presents lots of opportunities for dishonesty, including dating sites such as Ashley Madison where you can participate without your spouse knowing. Don’t do this if you want to preserve your marriage.
10. Not Listening
If your wife tries to talk to you about something that is bothering her, do you try to solve her problem or are you the sounding board she wants? If you instantly start giving her advice, she will likely withdraw and stop talking to you. Women solve their problems by talking them out. If you don’t listen, she will withdraw and may stop caring.
Is you see only a few of these signs in your marriage, you are doing most things rights and probably have a solid marriage. On the other hand, if you see several of these signs in your relationship, you need to pay serious attention to your marriage if you want to save it. I recommend seeing a marriage counselor immediately if your spouse if willing. If she isn’t, you may need to call a collaborative divorce attorney right away.
