If you’re married to an addict, you suffer directly and by watching your spouse deteriorate. Addicts lie, are reckless, and they cheat. Moreover, you’re partly responsible for the damage they do. If your alcoholic spouse drives, you worry when he’s out, you bail him out of jail at 2 a.m., and help pay the fines and attorney’s fees. Addiction is a huge challenge and couples are more likely to divorce when facing drug or alcohol issues. Addiction Statistics There are approximately fourteen … [Read more...]
The Five Great Fears of Divorce
In 1941, a few months before the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor, President Roosevelt spoke of the Four Freedoms – freedom of speech, freedom of worship, freedom from want and freedom from fear. In World War II, the Japanese army operated in China under what has come to be known as the Three All’s – kill all, burn all and loot all. Sayings need not be connected with uplifting events or good people to be remembered. They are memorable because they distill the essence of their time and tell … [Read more...]
Can You Hear Me NOW?
Divorce Coaching Can Vastly Improve Communication Can you imagine walking into court for a final hearing for your divorce case thinking you might be led away in handcuffs if you lose? That has to be a scary thought. And an outrageous one. People are almost never taken away in handcuffs at the end of divorce case. As a young lawyer, I once had a divorce case client with whom I had difficulty communicating. Because of my lack of experience, I did not recognize the highly emotional nature of … [Read more...]
How to Take Conflict Out of Divorce
It's possible to divorce in a way that supports the well-being of everyone. You can end the conflict, heal the hurt and part as friends. You just need to learn how. Unfortunately, most divorces are handled in a very different way. Sides are drawn and issues become something to fight over rather than something to resolve. Walls of protection get fortified and distance grows. Then we bring in adversarial attorneys and escalate the conflict dramatically. We hurt each other over and over, feeling … [Read more...]
