One of the great things about being older is that our children are adults. Relationships where we have all the power, set the rules, and dole out consequences change into more balanced, peer relationships. Perhaps they’re now asking for our advice about parenting their own children rather than looking for opportunities to rebel. It’s nice to be able to talk openly with your grown children about things you would not discuss with them when it was your responsibility to protect them from things … [Read more...]
Why Does Collaborative Divorce Work?
Why does collaborative divorce work? The answer depends on who you ask. Lawyers may say it works because it gets the lawyers and judges out of the way. Clients may say it works because of the control it gives them over their divorces, estates and children. Neutral professionals may say it works because they can bring their one-on-one expertise to bear. My view is different and it is this – it’s none of the above nor any other of the umpteen reasons we might give why … [Read more...]
College Students and Divorce
Much has been written about children and divorce. Divorcing or divorced parents of college-aged students may underestimate how this change in family circumstance affects their offspring. College students are not “immune” from effects of changes within the family unit, parents’ behaviors and expectations, or uncertainty regarding where they belong in their family post divorce. The apprehension surrounding this “new normal” can leave a young adult feeling out of sorts and emotionally … [Read more...]
Divorcing with an Empty Nest: What About the Kids?
You’ve entered that time of your life that you may (or may not) have been dreading: the empty nest. It’s not uncommon for married couples to reassess their relationship when the last kid heads off to college, or cleans out their closet in preparation for the move to their first full-time job. If your reassessment results in divorce, or if you’re a man or woman of a certain age who finds themselves in the midst of a divorce, you may not give much thought to how your children will fare during this … [Read more...]
The Five Great Fears of Divorce
In 1941, a few months before the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor, President Roosevelt spoke of the Four Freedoms – freedom of speech, freedom of worship, freedom from want and freedom from fear. In World War II, the Japanese army operated in China under what has come to be known as the Three All’s – kill all, burn all and loot all. Sayings need not be connected with uplifting events or good people to be remembered. They are memorable because they distill the essence of their time and tell … [Read more...]
Does Couples Counseling Work?
Successful couples counseling depends on several factors: both parties must be willing to change, marital problems can’t be impossible, goals need to be realistic, your therapist must be effective, you can’t wait until it’s too late and both spouses must want the marriage to work. Are You Willing to Change? If your partner refuses to attend couples counseling or is unwilling to make any changes in his behavior, it’s difficult to fix your marriage. You may be able to change the dynamics of your … [Read more...]
The Best Way to Divorce in Texas
What’s the best way to divorce in Texas? You have two options: a collaborative divorce or litigation. A litigated divorce offers only three benefits, including forced discovery, a restraining order against family violence and a court ordered settlement. The collaborative process offers many benefits, including privacy, lower cost, transparency, client control, convenience, preserving family relationships, protecting children, allowing creative settlement solutions and minimizing post-divorce … [Read more...]
Be Mine: 6 Rules for Dating Post-Divorce
Considerations for Dating Post Divorce Valentine’s day is upon us. This is a time of the year where we celebrate romance, love, and relationships. Single parents are not immune to this desire to find someone “beloved” to share their lives with. When looking for the “love of your life” post divorce, it is helpful to remember the following six items when introducing your children to a significant other(s). 1. Do not involve your children in the online dating activities. Do not have them take … [Read more...]
Divorcing Sucks but Being Single is Fine
Harry L. Munsinger, J.D. Ph.D. In the middle of a divorce it’s hard to believe things will ever get better. A divorce is unpleasant whether you opt for litigation or a collaborative divorce. No matter whether you wanted the divorce or not, it’s traumatic. But you can make less difficult by opting for a collaborative divorce. If you are angry and want to punish your partner, you should hire a litigation attorney and fight it out in court. You will have your day in court and get to tell the … [Read more...]