Dear Abby, we’ve been married for 25 years and have two kids who are now both in college. I think we’ve both been waiting until now, until the kids got through high school, to make this decision. Since our kids are older, what can a Collaborative Divorce do for us that litigation can’t? It’s a great question – how to handle your divorce when your children are grown and out of the house. Many people think that a Collaborative Divorce is just for people who have children under the age of 18. Yes, … [Read more...]
Why Dementia (And NOT Your Spouse) May Be Your Biggest Enemy…
For people going through a divorce in their 50’s or later, an increasing number are dealing with the issue of dementia as they go through the process of divorce. Normally, these cases fall into two categories: A divorce resulting from one spouse having dementia; or One of the spouse’s parents who has dementia put such pressure on the marriage through needs and/or demands that the marriage falters. Whether a spouse has dementia or one of the spouse’s parents, the collaborative … [Read more...]
Senior Citizens and Divorce
I have a good friend who says that the divorce calculator only subtracts and divides. It does not add and multiply. That’s not entirely true, because spouses who divorce do divide their incomes by half, but then they compensate by multiplying their monthly expenses by two. And halving income but doubling expenses is just the financial bad karma of divorce, to say nothing of the emotional wreckage it often leaves behind – loneliness, despair, and depression are common side effects. All of … [Read more...]
Why Baby-Boomer Divorces are Soaring
The U.S. divorce rate peaked in the late 1970s and began falling, except among persons born between 1946 and 1971. Baby boomer divorce rates doubled after 1990, and among couples over 65, the divorce rate almost tripled. What’s causing this spike in gray divorces? The causes of gray divorce include living longer, growing apart, higher expectations, having more money, women getting educated, infidelity, and more post-divorce options for divorced spouses. However, there is a down side to … [Read more...]
Ask Your Financial Planner: How Should We Transfer an IRA in a Divorce?
Many couples make the mistake of assuming that IRA balance transfers in a divorce are easy – just because they don’t require a Qualified Domestic Relations Order or QDRO. It is true that IRA transfers can be done smoothly and without tax consequences to either spouse, but that outcome requires advance planning and careful execution. Here is what you need to know. IRA transfers in a divorce are referred to as a “transfer incident to divorce” to distinguish them from the transfer of qualified … [Read more...]
3 Smart Steps to Protect Your Finances in a Grey Divorce
Did you know divorce came in different colors? Puns aside, “grey” or late-life divorce has become a considerable enough trend to warrant its own category. Every couple’s circumstances are unique: some have grown kids, others are childless; some have built up a considerable next egg while others live paycheck to paycheck. What unites them all is a decision to untangle a family life in their 50’s. Sociologists argue whether this trend is caused by increasing life expectancies, a wider acceptance … [Read more...]
Grey Divorce: 7 Tips to Surviving Divorce After Age 50
Divorce is emotionally and financially difficult no matter how long you’ve been married, but it’s especially difficult when it happens later in life. The emotional pain of surviving divorce is great and the financial pain may be worse because you have so little time to rebuild your assets. The grim reality is that 25% of divorces happen after fifty years of age. If you are over fifty and facing a divorce, you need a plan. Here are seven tips to help you survive: 1. Get Help Whether you … [Read more...]
5 Tips for Dealing with Your Adult Children During Your Divorce
One of the great things about being older is that our children are adults. Relationships where we have all the power, set the rules, and dole out consequences change into more balanced, peer relationships. Perhaps they’re now asking for our advice about parenting their own children rather than looking for opportunities to rebel. It’s nice to be able to talk openly with your grown children about things you would not discuss with them when it was your responsibility to protect them from things … [Read more...]
College Students and Divorce
Much has been written about children and divorce. Divorcing or divorced parents of college-aged students may underestimate how this change in family circumstance affects their offspring. College students are not “immune” from effects of changes within the family unit, parents’ behaviors and expectations, or uncertainty regarding where they belong in their family post divorce. The apprehension surrounding this “new normal” can leave a young adult feeling out of sorts and emotionally … [Read more...]
Divorcing with an Empty Nest: What About the Kids?
You’ve entered that time of your life that you may (or may not) have been dreading: the empty nest. It’s not uncommon for married couples to reassess their relationship when the last kid heads off to college, or cleans out their closet in preparation for the move to their first full-time job. If your reassessment results in divorce, or if you’re a man or woman of a certain age who finds themselves in the midst of a divorce, you may not give much thought to how your children will fare during this … [Read more...]
