As the “longest year ever” starts to draw to a close, we turn to thoughts of the holidays. The Halloween inflatables have come down, the candy has been eaten (except for that secret stash in the pantry!), and plans are being made for Thanksgiving and beyond. But how to plan and how to celebrate in this year of COVID-19? Extended families are separated by masks and geography. Many of us have experienced unspeakable loss since March, and all of us have dealt with fear, … [Read more...]
Two Common Misconceptions About Divorce
As a divorce lawyer, I am often surprised by the questions I hear from my clients reflecting common misconceptions about divorce that they’ve picked up from friends, relatives and the media. The most common misconception is that “there is no such thing as a friendly divorce.” In my over 40 years in practice I have been involved in scores of divorces during which the couples have worked out the details of their divorce settlements with a minimum of unpleasantness and bad behavior. … [Read more...]
Divorce During COVID-19 and Making Informed Decisions
As if COVID-19 isn’t enough to worry about, Individuals going through divorce are often overwhelmed by the laws involved, as well as by the financial issues. They don’t know what they don’t know, and they are stressed. Your attorney will be your primary guide through this process, explaining the laws as they apply to your situation and being sure that your goals and interest are addressed in the initial meeting and all along the way. Thee “goals and interest” will be … [Read more...]
Divorce Is Different For Parents of Kids with Disabilities
Figuring out how to divide and share rights, responsibilities and time with the kids is hard for divorcing parents of all children – with and without disabilities -- because there are so many things to consider. Parents eventually land on how they will handle schedules, residences, health care, and support, but going through the process can generate a lot of reflection on childhood – and parenthood – over issues that didn’t seem to exist, back when the couple thought they … [Read more...]
Health Insurance and Divorce
Health insurance is an important issue in any divorce when at least one party is under age 65 and without means to obtain their own health insurance. It can also be a significant issue with children who have graduated from high school but have not yet entered the work force to acquire their own health insurance. Thus, there are two areas where decisions should be made regarding health insurance and divorce: your child’s coverage and your coverage. This article is a high-level overview of what to … [Read more...]
Divorce Finances – 4 Tools To Help You Financially
Saying divorce can mess with your mind is a substantial understatement. I know because I have been there. It is as if my brain was removed from my head and placed beside me for about a year. (It does come back!) The intelligent together woman I once was turned into an emotional, brain-fogged, unorganized basket case. If you are in the middle of a divorce you may be able to relate. So how do you navigate your financial future in the midst of a … [Read more...]
Tips for How to Tell the Kids You Are Getting a Divorce
Kids remember where they were when their parents first told them about the divorce. If that memory can be as peaceful, loving, and as safe as possible, it is going to be a significantly less traumatic memory for them as they age. Here are a few important suggestions for how to tell the kids that you and your spouse are getting a divorce. The first important piece is that you want to tell your kids at a time where they do not have anything important coming up that day. If … [Read more...]
Emotionally Intelligent Spousing: You Go First!
You may already be the perfect spouse. You exude empathy and love and role model all the best practices for growing a marriage that will last a lifetime. For you, it’s simple. You just happen to possess the very qualities that draw others to you and inspire them to evolve toward their highest potential. For me, on the other hand, it was on-the-job training that felt like a roller coaster ride. Amidst the excitement of new beginnings came increasing chasms in communication and … [Read more...]
An Open Letter to Kelly Clarkson
Dear Kelly Clarkson, I was reading about your pending divorce with your husband. This is probably a stressful time for you and your family. I have appreciated your artistry over the years and was moved to reach out to you. As a clinical social worker, I have worked with divorcing parents and their children for years and here are a few things I have learned and thought I would share just in case: During the pendency of the divorce … [Read more...]