Many people find themselves in the middle of a divorce without understanding all of their options. Divorce is a transactional event, but the emotional part of the divorce often makes it much more difficult. Below are descriptions of various ways to handle your divorce: Kitchen Table/Flat Fee When the two partners are able to keep the divorce process completely transactional, and both partners are able to come to their own resolution, this option is one to consider … [Read more...]
When Is It Time To Divorce?
The First Steps You Should Take Oftentimes, when clients come to my office seeking a divorce, they have already committed to the idea that they and their partners are going to be splitting up. They already flew through days filled with fights and tears, rode the waves of resentment and traveled down the marriage counseling pathway. At the end of their journey, the two parties acknowledge that this marriage has now come to an end. Many of my clients are very upfront about … [Read more...]
What To Do When Your Spouse Says He Or She Wants A Divorce
What do you do if you’re the person on the receiving end of the news that your marriage is ending? You have had no chance to prepare yourself to respond when faced with a devastating event that will change everything. You have raged or screamed or reeled and experienced feelings that are so large and overwhelming that you thought they would grab you by the heels and drag you down into the depths of despair until you drowned. You may have begged and pleaded with your spouse or replayed … [Read more...]
Using the “F” Word In Divorce
In a divorce case, we have a rule about not using the “F’ word. No, it is not that word, but it is the word “Fair”. Everyone wants a fair divorce settlement, but exactly what’s “fair”? There are two major issues that must be resolved in any divorce–how to divide assets and what to do about the kids. The major financial issues are to determine what assets belong to the community estate and what assets are separate property, who will pay child support, the amount of child … [Read more...]
Top Worries Children Have About Divorce
The transition from married to divorce can be daunting for parents. Children may have their own worries regarding the process of divorce. The family dynamic is changing in a major way, so they may have concerns and fears regarding this major life change. Parents are well served by maintaining a sense of security in their new situation and being aware of common worries regarding divorce.1.1.2 1. They will be poor - It is very likely that your financial situation will change after the dust … [Read more...]
When Putting Off Divorce Becomes a Liability
Divorce can be a time of unpleasant conversations, turmoil, and arguments. If you are daydreaming about packing a bag and leaving this mess behind for a few weeks, you are not alone. In fact, many couples choose to separate before divorce. For those who have the financial means to do it, this might mean that one of the spouses moves out of the family home to live elsewhere. There are definite benefits to the moving-out decision. Separate living arrangements can give each spouse a haven to … [Read more...]
Fear In Divorce
There is no stronger, more enduring or more destructive an emotion in divorce than fear. It strikes at our very essence. It immobilizes us. Makes us sick with worry and unable to believe that we will ever again be alright. President Roosevelt gave his first inaugural address in 1933, at the depth of the Great Depression. He had been elected as President of a nation rich in natural resources and populated with creative, hard-working men and women. There was much about the future which … [Read more...]
Bringing Your Best Self to Your Divorce Process
The moment of arriving at the conclusion that a marriage is over is often one of life’s worst moments. Grief, fear, anger, confusion, and many other emotions we don’t have words for often swirl through all of our being. In this emotional state, our Best Self— the part that can be trusted to make wise decisions for our future—is often in shock. It may even feel like this Best Self has abandoned us. Fear and Anger wrestle to take control in the vacuum. However, Fear and Anger do not make wise … [Read more...]
25 Divorce Quotes
Divorce is not funny. When someone is going through a divorce, it can be the most painful time of his or her life. But sometimes it helps to laugh and know that others have been in the same place. In compiling this collection of divorce quotes, I rejected any that were cruel, angry, or cynical and selected quotes that convey honesty, wisdom, and hope. 1. For Sale: Wedding Dress. Worn once by mistake. Call Leslie. 2. Divorces are made in heaven–Oscar Wilde. 3. When I was divorced, I … [Read more...]
10 Things Parents Should NOT Do During a Divorce
Do not put your children in the middle of your conflict. It creates a loyalty bind and may increase emotional distress. Do not allow the children to be a messenger. Parents should talk directly to each other about child-related information. Create a shared calendar for notification, activities, and logistics. Do not take kill shots to the other parent. Spare children from the gory details of the reasons for the divorce. They don’t need to hear negativity from either parent. A divorce is … [Read more...]
