The moment of arriving at the conclusion that a marriage is over is often one of life’s worst moments. Grief, fear, anger, confusion, and many other emotions we don’t have words for often swirl through all of our being. In this emotional state, our Best Self— the part that can be trusted to make wise decisions for our future—is often in shock. It may even feel like this Best Self has abandoned us. Fear and Anger wrestle to take control in the vacuum. However, Fear and Anger do not make wise … [Read more...]
When Emotions Overwhelm Reason
The very best settlement offers are sometimes rejected. Not because the parenting plan isn’t the best solution for the family. Not because the financial proposal isn’t the greatest possible outcome possible. Fantastic offers are sometimes rejected simply because people in controversy are often are controlled by their emotions, and those emotions prevent people from making rational decisions. The collaborative divorce process and the use of neutral mental health professionals can help someone … [Read more...]
Integrating Mediation into the Collaborative Divorce Model
Collaborative Divorce is an innovative option of dispute resolution for divorcing couples, built upon a highly specific road map for negotiation. The parties’ goals and interests are the centerpiece of this road map, around which clients provide and review all relevant information then, with the support of their attorney and allied professional team members, creatively seek options for resolution of each issue. While this structured design focuses on self determination, it also allows for … [Read more...]
Creative Problem-Solving: The Essence of Collaborative Divorce
When people are getting started in a Collaborative Law case, they sometimes have a little trouble translating their initial enthusiasm for the process into the nitty-gritty of problem-solving. They either bring in preconceived ideas about how they want or think the process will work, or they become overwhelmed by looking at the mountain of issues they must face and resolve. They often wonder how they can possibly get everything worked out. To help those starting on the Collaborative … [Read more...]
How to Take Conflict Out of Divorce
It's possible to divorce in a way that supports the well-being of everyone. You can end the conflict, heal the hurt and part as friends. You just need to learn how. Unfortunately, most divorces are handled in a very different way. Sides are drawn and issues become something to fight over rather than something to resolve. Walls of protection get fortified and distance grows. Then we bring in adversarial attorneys and escalate the conflict dramatically. We hurt each other over and over, feeling … [Read more...]
