‘Til Death Us Do Part – The Unintentional Fulfillment of Their Marital Vows, Even After their Divorce A former client called me today to ask what to do with regard to child support since her ex-spouse had died. After I told her, she thanked me for my help in their divorce. They divorced collaboratively. She went on to describe that in the eight plus years since their divorce, they had co-parented successfully. She said that even though people around them wanted them to hate each other and … [Read more...]
Bringing Your Best Self to Your Divorce Process
The moment of arriving at the conclusion that a marriage is over is often one of life’s worst moments. Grief, fear, anger, confusion, and many other emotions we don’t have words for often swirl through all of our being. In this emotional state, our Best Self— the part that can be trusted to make wise decisions for our future—is often in shock. It may even feel like this Best Self has abandoned us. Fear and Anger wrestle to take control in the vacuum. However, Fear and Anger do not make wise … [Read more...]
Financial Planning for Post Divorce
Divorce is an uncomfortable time for most couples. Even if you are going through the divorce using a collaborative approach, you probably don’t know what to expect from the split – which can be nerve-wracking. If you are anxious about your first meeting with the neutral financial planner, here’s what you need to know to arrive well-prepared and confident. Solo or together? Before your head into that first meeting with the neutral financial planner, think about whether you want to attend the … [Read more...]
Finding the Right Family Law Lawyer For Your Divorce
Selecting the right attorney to represent you is both daunting and imperative. A family law lawyer can come in any shape, size, and temperament, just like everyone else. You want an attorney who fits well with your personality, understands your goals, and has the experience and expertise to handle your divorce. You also want someone you can afford, and who appreciates the financial sacrifices most clients have to make to afford legal representation. The process of finding that person is a … [Read more...]
10 Signs Your Spouse May Be Cheating
There are few totally reliable signs your spouse is cheating, so it’s often difficult to be certain. Your spouse could be working late or seeing someone—how can you know? You want to trust your spouse, but sometimes your instincts say something’s wrong. Don’t ignore the feeling and don’t presume your spouse is guilty. Instead, look for signs he or she is cheating, such as changing appearance, protecting a phone, getting a new credit card, wanting separate vacations, changing sexual behavior, … [Read more...]
Child Support for Older Children (Ages 13-17)
Texas guideline child support often doesn’t cover the increased cost of raising older children as they mature, because the children engage in more expensive activities such as sports, dance, music, cars, and dating. The only recourse for couples who litigated their divorce is to file for modification of child support every three years and ask for increased support payments to cover the added costs. However, couples who choose a collaborative divorce can negotiate child support payments that … [Read more...]
The Secret that Non-Collaborative Lawyers Don’t Want You to Know (Part Two)
The second part of the secret is that out of one hundred divorce cases that are filed, only about ten will go all the way to a final trial. The rest? They’ll settle out or get dismissed, often after huge amounts of money have been spent for lawyers with the result that a marital estate has been pillaged and a mother and father have had their co-parenting relationship irretrievably damaged. The beginning of a divorce lawsuit should not point towards a final trial. Why? Because most divorce … [Read more...]
SHHHH…The Secret that Non-Collaborative Lawyers Don’t Want You to Know
Keep this just between the two of us, will you? Because I’m about to tell you a secret that most non-collaborative family lawyers don’t want you to know. But, it’s a secret which you ought – in good conscience – to be told since it affects anyone and everyone who gets divorced. What is it, you ask? Let me answer you this way. Do you remember Stephen Covey? What about his book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People? It came out in 1989 and even if you’ve never heard of Mr. Covey you … [Read more...]
Alternative Method of Divorce: Collaborative Law
The words graceful, healthy and divorce do not go together. The first words clients use to describe the process of divorce are typically words of war: FIGHT, CUSTODY BATTLE, and WINNING. I would like to present a concept to you that is a kinder, gentler way to get divorced. Collaborative Law. While we have the early adapters of technology, it is sometimes hard to find the early adapters of new legal processes. Collaborative law started in Texas in 2001 as a movement away from the damage of … [Read more...]
Why Does Collaborative Divorce Work?
Why does collaborative divorce work? The answer depends on who you ask. Lawyers may say it works because it gets the lawyers and judges out of the way. Clients may say it works because of the control it gives them over their divorces, estates and children. Neutral professionals may say it works because they can bring their one-on-one expertise to bear. My view is different and it is this – it’s none of the above nor any other of the umpteen reasons we might give why collaborative divorce is so … [Read more...]
