Undoubtedly, divorce is one of the most difficult experiences for many people. Unwinding years of being together with one person is incredibly emotional. What makes it even more complicated is finding a way to navigate down this path when there are minor children involved. Many of my family law clients struggle to meet in the middle when it comes to raising their children in separate households. I had mentioned in my previous post that marriage is the ability to come … [Read more...]
Mediation or Collaborative Divorce?
People often ask about “mediation” for their divorce when they mean no court and no fighting. But are they asking the right question? Collaborative family lawyer and mediator Julian Schwartz https://www.basharaschwartz.com/ says, “This question comes up all the time. People don’t want the courthouse divorce nightmare they have too often heard about from others.” The popular idea is that mediation is a positive, kinder experience for couples who want to amicably … [Read more...]
Tips for Staying on the High Road During a Divorce
A lot of divorcing couples express a desire to “take the high road” during divorce and the collaborative divorce process supports the couple in this desire. Often a spouse will fall short due to divorce being transactional (“I give you this if you give me that”) and emotional (“you hurt me” or “I am afraid”) and the friction this causes. Taking the high road: 1. Allows you to be the good guy; 2. Preserves dignity and is respectful to your spouse; 3. Benefits your … [Read more...]
Avoiding “Death by Divorce”: How a Collaborative Divorce Preserves Relationships
Raise your hand if you know someone who has been divorced. Maybe it’s your friends. Maybe it’s your parents. Maybe it’s you. Keep your hand raised if you know someone who has been through a Collaborative Divorce….. That’s not nearly as many hands in the air as there should be. Why? Because anyone considering divorce needs to know that a Collaborative Divorce can protect all of the people and relationships we care about. Divorce does not have to burn your world to the ground. Play out this … [Read more...]
3 Reasons Collaborative Divorce Can Work When Dealing With Addictions In Divorce
Nobody wants to go through a divorce. Collaborative Divorce offers a forward-looking, honest approach that provides privacy to you, your spouse, and family with a team of professionals to get you through the process of dissolving your marriage. 1. Honesty If we’re being honest, divorce is scary. It’s overwhelming. It’s devastating. It’s even scarier, more overwhelming, and potentially more devastating when either you or spouse (or both) is (are) dealing with addiction. When someone is an … [Read more...]
When Is It Time To Divorce?
The First Steps You Should Take Oftentimes, when clients come to my office seeking a divorce, they have already committed to the idea that they and their partners are going to be splitting up. They already flew through days filled with fights and tears, rode the waves of resentment and traveled down the marriage counseling pathway. At the end of their journey, the two parties acknowledge that this marriage has now come to an end. Many of my clients are very upfront about … [Read more...]
‘Til Death Us Do Part Even After Divorce
‘Til Death Us Do Part – The Unintentional Fulfillment of Their Marital Vows, Even After their Divorce A former client called me today to ask what to do with regard to child support since her ex-spouse had died. After I told her, she thanked me for my help in their divorce. They divorced collaboratively. She went on to describe that in the eight plus years since their divorce, they had co-parented successfully. She said that even though people around them wanted them to hate each other and … [Read more...]
Bringing Your Best Self to Your Divorce Process
The moment of arriving at the conclusion that a marriage is over is often one of life’s worst moments. Grief, fear, anger, confusion, and many other emotions we don’t have words for often swirl through all of our being. In this emotional state, our Best Self— the part that can be trusted to make wise decisions for our future—is often in shock. It may even feel like this Best Self has abandoned us. Fear and Anger wrestle to take control in the vacuum. However, Fear and Anger do not make wise … [Read more...]
Financial Planning for Post Divorce
Divorce is an uncomfortable time for most couples. Even if you are going through the divorce using a collaborative approach, you probably don’t know what to expect from the split – which can be nerve-wracking. If you are anxious about your first meeting with the neutral financial planner, here’s what you need to know to arrive well-prepared and confident. Solo or together? Before your head into that first meeting with the neutral financial planner, think about whether you want to attend the … [Read more...]
Finding the Right Family Law Lawyer For Your Divorce
Selecting the right attorney to represent you is both daunting and imperative. A family law lawyer can come in any shape, size, and temperament, just like everyone else. You want an attorney who fits well with your personality, understands your goals, and has the experience and expertise to handle your divorce. You also want someone you can afford, and who appreciates the financial sacrifices most clients have to make to afford legal representation. The process of finding that person is a … [Read more...]
