For many of my years as a family lawyer I was asked by judges to represent the interests of children going through divorce. As an “ad litem” or “amicus attorney”, it was my duty to talk to my young charges to find out what they were thinking and what was bothering them. In many cases their parents couldn’t agree on where the children should live after the divorce, which parent should have the power to make decisions regarding the … [Read more...]
How to Protect Children Through Divorce
Children are a primary concern for parents during the divorce process. This time can be confusing and overwhelming for everyone involved, so it is essential to make sure your kids feel safe and protected. Presented here is a quick list of six things that you can do as co-parents to ensure the mental and emotional wellbeing of your children. 1. Be present for your children The process of divorce is complicated, and often requires a good deal of work and attention that you would otherwise spend … [Read more...]
Top Worries Children Have About Divorce
The transition from married to divorce can be daunting for parents. Children may have their own worries regarding the process of divorce. The family dynamic is changing in a major way, so they may have concerns and fears regarding this major life change. Parents are well served by maintaining a sense of security in their new situation and being aware of common worries regarding divorce.1.1.2 1. They will be poor - It is very likely that your financial situation will change after the dust … [Read more...]
Effect of Divorce on Children and Adolescents
Divorce can have significant negative effects on children and adolescents. Intense parental conflict during or after a divorce is associated with mental health problems among their children. Hetherington found that approximately 25 percent of children whose parents divorced suffered serious emotional, social, and psychological problems as adults compared with just 10 percent of children whose parents remained married. Moreover, children who were very young when their parents divorced had … [Read more...]
5 Tips to Insure Children’s Emotional Safety During Divorce
The time of the divorce can be fraught with confusion, sadness, and even anger. Your child’s emotions may be running high, and it is the opportune time to step in and provide extra care and comfort for them. Emotional distress of children surrounding divorce can be minimized if you and your ex can remember these following tips: 1. Let them share their concerns Your children will have many concerns during this time, and you must listen to what they have to say, and work it out with them. Do not … [Read more...]
10 Things Parents Should NOT Do During a Divorce
Do not put your children in the middle of your conflict. It creates a loyalty bind and may increase emotional distress. Do not allow the children to be a messenger. Parents should talk directly to each other about child-related information. Create a shared calendar for notification, activities, and logistics. Do not take kill shots to the other parent. Spare children from the gory details of the reasons for the divorce. They don’t need to hear negativity from either parent. A divorce is … [Read more...]
What is a Parenting Plan?
In 2005, the Texas Legislature revised child custody by requiring that the parties or a judge develop a parenting plan to allocate rights and duties. The elements of a parenting plan include who may exercise various parental rights and duties, who will pay child support and whether a parenting coordinator is needed to facilitate co-parenting post-divorce. Parents submit a proposed parenting plan to the court and if accepted, the court will issue a parenting order. Developing a parenting plan can … [Read more...]
Jealousy Between Divorcing Parents and Children
Married parents are proud of their children, want them to succeed, and rarely feel any jealousy of them. Moreover, children in happy married families rarely feel jealous of their parents. However, divorcing parents often feel jealous if their children form a close bond with one parent and the children often feel jealousy when a divorced parent begins dating. Jealousy within a divorcing family is caused by insecurity, dependency, and fear of abandonment. Divorcing mothers most often feel … [Read more...]
Impending Divorce? How to Not Spoil the Holidays
The end-of-the-year holiday season can be stressful. There are presents to buy and meals to cook and people to be around with whom we don’t necessarily agree. Even the most functional of families sometimes find it difficult to maintain their equilibrium among all the chaos. Add divorce into the mix and the situation can quickly go from precarious to disastrous. Here are some tips for how to make the holidays go smoothly when you’re dealing with restructured … [Read more...]
5 Tips for Dealing with Your Adult Children During Your Divorce
One of the great things about being older is that our children are adults. Relationships where we have all the power, set the rules, and dole out consequences change into more balanced, peer relationships. Perhaps they’re now asking for our advice about parenting their own children rather than looking for opportunities to rebel. It’s nice to be able to talk openly with your grown children about things you would not discuss with them when it was your responsibility to protect them from things … [Read more...]
