Collaborative Divorce Texas

  • Donate
  • For Professionals
    • Membership Advantages
    • Events/Training
    • Become a Member
    • For Students
    • Volunteer at CDT
    • Advertise With Us
  • Contact Us
  • Login
  • Home
  • Find a Collaborative Professional
  • What is a Collaborative Divorce?
    • What is Collaborative Divorce?
    • Frequently Asked Questions
    • About CDTexas
    • Master and Credentialed Collaborative Divorce Professionals
    • The Gay G. Cox Award for Excellence in Collaborative Law
  • Blog
  • For Collaborative Professionals
    • Membership Benefits
    • Events/Training
    • Become a Member
    • For Students
    • Advertise With Us
    • Volunteer at CDT
    • Login
  • Donate
  • Contact Us
  • What is Collaborative Divorce?
    • What is Collaborative Divorce?
    • Why Use a CDTexas Member?
    • About Us
    • Master and Credentialed Collaborative Divorce Professionals
    • The Gay G. Cox Award for Excellence in Collaborative Law
  • Testimonials
  • FAQs
  • Blog
  • Find A Professional
    • How Do I Choose a Collaborative Professional?
    • Attorneys
    • Financial Professionals
    • Mental Health Professionals
    • See All

Donate

You are here: Home / Our-Featured-Authors / Seven Marriage Destroying Habits

Seven Marriage Destroying Habits

January 9, 2019 By Harry Munsinger, J.D., Ph.D. Leave a Comment

marriage destroying habits

Everyone has habits that annoy their spouse, but some behaviors can destroy your marriage if you don’t change.  The good news is it’s probably not too late to change those habits and rebuild your marriage.  Below are the seven common habits that can destroy any marriage if they continue.

Addiction.  Being addicted to social media, gaming, food, alcohol, drugs, shopping, smoking, or gambling can destroy the strongest marriage.  If you are addicted to anything, stop and think what’s more important to you – your marriage or your bad habit?  Addictions are powerful and hard to abandon, but if your spouse is complaining about how much you drink, gamble, game, or shop, see a counselor immediately and begin recovery if you want to save your marriage.

Expressing Contempt.  John Gottman found that couples who express contempt for each other are more likely to divorce than couples who are respectful.  Contempt happens when you are resentful of your spouse and haven’t worked through the anger and frustration triggered by unrealistic expectations or mistaken beliefs about marriage.  If you believe happy couples never fight, for example, you may be avoiding dealing with the hidden anger that can destroy a marriage.  Good marriages thrive when couples are honest with each other about their feelings.

Financial Dishonesty.  Many couples find it difficult to discuss money, spending habits, and financial goals.  But it’s important to be honest with each other about whether you want to save or spend and your goals about career, home, children, and retirement.  Money problems are a top trigger of stress in a marriage.  If you or your partner is irresponsible about spending and lies about money, you can destroy trust in your relationship and marriage.  If you have money problems, see a financial advisor.

Fighting Dirty.  If you are more focused on being right and fighting to win than connecting with your spouse and communicating honest emotions, your marriage is probably in trouble.  If you hit below the belt when angry, use personal information to hurt your spouse during a fight, and criticize him or her unnecessarily, you are skating on thin ice in your marriage.  Fighting is fine, but it needs to be done fairly.  If you or your spouse fight dirty, see a counselor to stop this bad habit before it’s too late.

Abusing Your Spouse.  We get angry from time to time and may say something hurtful to our partner, but if emotional abuse is a regular part of your interactions or if you push, threaten, or hit your spouse when you are angry, that’s a terrible habit and can lead to divorce.  If you are in an abusive relationship, get help immediately or get out of the situation.

Neglecting Sex.  No one wants to be close when they are angry, frustrated, frightened, or tired.  However, if you get in the habit of rejecting or neglecting sex with your partner, you are going to slowly drift apart.  If either of you feels your sex life is inadequate, have a talk with your spouse and work out a plan to fix this important part of your marriage.  Even if you have to schedule sex for a while to get back in the habit, make the effort or your marriage may be doomed.

Can’t Compromise.  If you or your spouse introduce ultimatums into your relationship, such as “my way or the highway” your marriage is in serious trouble.  It’s important for couples to compromise so both partner’s needs are met.  If one spouse is in control of the relationship and always gets his or her way, the marriage is headed for disaster.

Recognize some of these bad habits in your marriage?  What can you do about them?  First, admit you have a problem and decide to do something about it.  Take responsibility for fixing the problem and don’t blame it all on your spouse.  Express your concerns positively rather than being critical.  Try to give your spouse five positive communications for every negative comment.  Bad habits can destroy a marriage if you don’t recognize and change them today.

Even if your marriage has reached a point of no return.  There are options for how to end the marriage in a respectful manner.  Collaborative Divorce is a private divorce process that allows the divorcing spouses to maintain the important family relationships and for both spouses to emerge from the divorce process much healthier emotionally and financially than in an adversarial divorce.   

About Harry Munsinger, J.D., Ph.D.

Harry Munsinger practices collaborative and estate law in San Antonio. He has over twenty years experience resolving disputes involving divorce, probate, wills, and trusts. Harry was an adjunct law professor at the University of Texas and St. Mary’s University. He has published several textbooks and over forty psychological and legal articles. Harry has been a forensic psychology expert, a licensed psychologist and a litigator.

Filed Under: Blog, Harry Munsinger, Our-Featured-Authors

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Find a Professional

Getting started with the Collaborative Process?

First your need to connect with a trained Collaborative Professional.

[Find Out More....]

Articles by Category

Featured Video

  • Child of Divorce
  • Collaborative Divorce Testimonial

Why Collaborative?

  • Jennifer Leister
  • Steve Walker
  • Carla Calabrese
  • Dawn Budner
  • Becky Davenport
  • Jody Johnson
  • Honey Schef
  • James Urmin
  • Kurt Chacon
  • Natalie Gregg
  • Robert Matlock
  • Deborah Lyons
  • Carlos Salinas
  • Camille Scroggins
  • Linda Solomon
  • Richard Soat
  • Lisa Rothfus
  • Jeffrey Shore
  • Barbara Cole
  • David Brunson
  • Jennifer Tull
  • Syd Sh
  • Susan Z. Wright
  • Christi Trusler
  • Camille Milnser
  • Linda Threats
  • Sarah Keathley
  • MaryAnn Kildebeck
  • David Bouschor
  • LIsa Marquis
  • Harry Munsinger
  • Vicki James
  • Robin Watts
  • Katie Berry
  • Jack Emmott
  • Jennifer Broussard
  • Patricia Havard
  • Paula Locke Smyth
  • Laura Schlenker
  • Norma Trusch
  • Brett Christiansen
  • Tim Whitten
  • Mickey Gayler
  • Melinsa Eitzen
  • Julian Schwartz
  • MaryAnn Knolle
  • Chad Olsen
  • Chris Farish
  • Charles Quaid
  • Anne Shuttee
  • Barbara Runge
  • Rhonda Cleaves -
  • Jamie Patterson
  • Catherine Baron
  • Kristen Algert
  • Sandra Roland
  • Rhonda Cleaves 2
  • Gratia Schoemakers

Have you read?

Divorce and Addiction: What You Need to Know

If you’re married to an addict, you suffer directly and by watching your spouse deteriorate. Addicts lie, are reckless, and they cheat. Moreover, you’re partly responsible for the damage they do. If … [Read More...]

More Articles from this Category

The Collaborative Law Institute of Texas

d/b/a
Collaborative Divorce Texas

Proud Members of IACP

1400 Preston Road
Suite 400
Plano, TX 75093
(972) 386-0158

Please note: Our office will be closed on

Holiday closures:
Limited: Nov. 23rd & 24th
Closed: Nov. 25th , 26th and 27th

Christmas:
Closed from December 24-December 30, 2022.
Offices open on January 2nd, 2023.


Website Terms of Usage

Contact Our Webmaster

 

Follow Us

  • Facebook
  • LinkedIn
  • Twitter
  • Vimeo
  • YouTube

Search Our Website

Find A Professional

  • Find a Collaborative Professional
  • Attorneys
  • Financial Professionals
  • Mental Health Professionals
  • See All
EnglishFrançaisDeutschItalianoPortuguêsEspañol

Copyright © 2023 · Collaborative Divorce Texas · All Rights Reserved

· · ·

Web Design and Maintenance by The Crouch Group