Collaborative Divorce Texas

  • Donate
  • For Professionals
    • Membership Advantages
    • Events/Training
    • Become a Member
    • For Students
    • Volunteer at CDT
    • Advertise With Us
  • Contact Us
  • Login
  • Home
  • Find a Collaborative Professional
  • What is a Collaborative Divorce?
    • What is Collaborative Divorce?
    • Frequently Asked Questions
    • About CDTexas
    • Master and Credentialed Collaborative Divorce Professionals
    • The Gay G. Cox Award for Excellence in Collaborative Law
  • Blog
  • For Collaborative Professionals
    • Membership Benefits
    • Events/Training
    • Become a Member
    • For Students
    • Advertise With Us
    • Volunteer at CDT
    • Login
  • Donate
  • Contact Us
  • What is Collaborative Divorce?
    • What is Collaborative Divorce?
    • Why Use a CDTexas Member?
    • About Us
    • Master and Credentialed Collaborative Divorce Professionals
    • The Gay G. Cox Award for Excellence in Collaborative Law
  • Testimonials
  • FAQs
  • Blog
  • Find A Professional
    • How Do I Choose a Collaborative Professional?
    • Attorneys
    • Financial Professionals
    • Mental Health Professionals
    • See All

Donate

You are here: Home / ••• / “MAD Divorce” – Annihilate or Collaborate?

“MAD Divorce” – Annihilate or Collaborate?

October 12, 2017 By Julian Schwartz Leave a Comment

As a young person, I came of age during the end of the Cold War.  During this time, the United States and the Soviet Union were engaged in an arm’s race with each other that involved an ever-increasing stock pile of nuclear weaponry.  The ability to utterly destroy each other ten times or perhaps even a hundred times over was part of a military strategy and national security policy called “MAD,” an acronym for “Mutually Assured Destruction”.

The theory was that the use of nuclear weapons by one side would result in retaliatory nuclear strikes by the other and, ultimately, to the complete annihilation of both attacker and defender.  Neither side could win such a conflict; therefore, both counties were deterred from initiating the use of nuclear weapons.  In 1989, the world breathed a collective sigh of relief with the fall of the Berlin Wall and the subsequent dissolution of the USSR.  Subsequent treaties between the United States and Russia led to the substantial dismantlement of the huge and aging nuclear arsenals each country possessed.

I share this historical reflection because I think it is illustrative of an often less talked about, but nevertheless, legitimate reason that some couples have used to decide to go into the collaborative process to resolve their divorce.  There are many “positives” that may encourage couples to choose a collaborative divorce.  However, sometimes avoiding the “negatives,” which include the recognition that battling at the courthouse and airing significant mutual “dirty laundry” could lead to their own “mutually assured destruction,” can be a very compelling reason for a couple to go collaborative too.

Court hearings and trials risk the exposure of information on the public record that could be damaging to a spouse’s career and business interests, attract unwanted attention of the Internal Revenue Service or creditors, tarnish one or both spouses’ reputation in the community, and push friends, family, and even the couple’s children to “choose sides” leading to irreparable harm to relationships.

The collaborative process encourages divorcing spouses to be “future focused” and to work together for all of the positive aspects that may be available through a collaborative divorce: supporting family relationships, maximizing financial outcomes and working towards resolutions that are focused on children’s best interest.  An equally legitimate reason to choose the collaborative route may be when a couple recognizes that privacy is important and that publicly litigating their divorce risks their mutually assured destruction.

Collaborative professionals can and should endeavor to creatively work with couples in these circumstances just as diligently as those couples seeking the more “positive” opportunities available through a collaborative divorce.  Annihilate or collaborate? The theory of MAD makes a compelling case for the latter!

About Julian Schwartz

Julian N. Schwartz helps families resolve their issues in a private, amicable, and respectful manner, avoiding emotional and financial costs, and working to keep the focus on the best interest of children and long-term co-parenting relationships.

Filed Under: •••, Blog, Julian Schwartz, Our-Featured-Authors Tagged With: Annihilate or Collaborate, Benefits of Collaborative, Coping with Stress and Emotions in Divorce

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Find a Professional

Getting started with the Collaborative Process?

First your need to connect with a trained Collaborative Professional.

[Find Out More....]

Articles by Category

Featured Video

  • Child of Divorce
  • Collaborative Divorce Testimonial

Why Collaborative?

  • Jennifer Leister
  • Steve Walker
  • Carla Calabrese
  • Dawn Budner
  • Becky Davenport
  • Jody Johnson
  • Honey Schef
  • James Urmin
  • Kurt Chacon
  • Natalie Gregg
  • Robert Matlock
  • Deborah Lyons
  • Carlos Salinas
  • Camille Scroggins
  • Linda Solomon
  • Richard Soat
  • Lisa Rothfus
  • Jeffrey Shore
  • Barbara Cole
  • David Brunson
  • Jennifer Tull
  • Syd Sh
  • Susan Z. Wright
  • Christi Trusler
  • Camille Milnser
  • Linda Threats
  • Sarah Keathley
  • MaryAnn Kildebeck
  • David Bouschor
  • LIsa Marquis
  • Harry Munsinger
  • Vicki James
  • Robin Watts
  • Katie Berry
  • Jack Emmott
  • Jennifer Broussard
  • Patricia Havard
  • Paula Locke Smyth
  • Laura Schlenker
  • Norma Trusch
  • Brett Christiansen
  • Tim Whitten
  • Mickey Gayler
  • Melinsa Eitzen
  • Julian Schwartz
  • MaryAnn Knolle
  • Chad Olsen
  • Chris Farish
  • Charles Quaid
  • Anne Shuttee
  • Barbara Runge
  • Rhonda Cleaves -
  • Jamie Patterson
  • Catherine Baron
  • Kristen Algert
  • Sandra Roland
  • Rhonda Cleaves 2
  • Gratia Schoemakers

Have you read?

10 Things Parents Should NOT Do During a Divorce

Do not put your children in the middle of your conflict. It creates a loyalty bind and may increase emotional distress. Do not allow the children to be a messenger. Parents should talk directly to … [Read More...]

More Articles from this Category

The Collaborative Law Institute of Texas

d/b/a
Collaborative Divorce Texas

Proud Members of IACP

1400 Preston Road
Suite 400
Plano, TX 75093
(972) 386-0158

Please note: Our office will be closed on

Holiday closures:
Limited: Nov. 23rd & 24th
Closed: Nov. 25th , 26th and 27th

Christmas:
Closed from December 24-December 30, 2022.
Offices open on January 2nd, 2023.


Website Terms of Usage

Contact Our Webmaster

 

Follow Us

  • Facebook
  • LinkedIn
  • Twitter
  • Vimeo
  • YouTube

Search Our Website

Find A Professional

  • Find a Collaborative Professional
  • Attorneys
  • Financial Professionals
  • Mental Health Professionals
  • See All
EnglishFrançaisDeutschItalianoPortuguêsEspañol

Copyright © 2023 · Collaborative Divorce Texas · All Rights Reserved

· · ·

Web Design and Maintenance by The Crouch Group