Collaborative Divorce Texas

  • Donate
  • For Professionals
    • Membership Advantages
    • Events/Training
    • Become a Member
    • For Students
    • Volunteer at CDT
    • Advertise With Us
  • Contact Us
  • Login
  • Home
  • Find a Collaborative Professional
  • What is a Collaborative Divorce?
    • What is Collaborative Divorce?
    • Frequently Asked Questions
    • About CDTexas
    • Master and Credentialed Collaborative Divorce Professionals
    • The Gay G. Cox Award for Excellence in Collaborative Law
  • Blog
  • For Collaborative Professionals
    • Membership Benefits
    • Events/Training
    • Become a Member
    • For Students
    • Advertise With Us
    • Volunteer at CDT
    • Login
  • Donate
  • Contact Us
  • What is Collaborative Divorce?
    • What is Collaborative Divorce?
    • Why Use a CDTexas Member?
    • About Us
    • Master and Credentialed Collaborative Divorce Professionals
    • The Gay G. Cox Award for Excellence in Collaborative Law
  • Testimonials
  • FAQs
  • Blog
  • Find A Professional
    • How Do I Choose a Collaborative Professional?
    • Attorneys
    • Financial Professionals
    • Mental Health Professionals
    • See All
You are here: Home / Blog / Effect of Divorce on Children and Adolescents

Effect of Divorce on Children and Adolescents

August 16, 2018 By Harry Munsinger, J.D., Ph.D. Leave a Comment

Divorce can have significant negative effects on children and adolescents.  Intense parental conflict during or after a divorce is associated with mental health problems among their children.  Hetherington found that approximately 25 percent of children whose parents divorced suffered serious emotional, social, and psychological problems as adults compared with just 10 percent of children whose parents remained married.  Moreover, children who were very young when their parents divorced had extra difficulty forming intimate adult relationships, were unhappy with their marriages, and had higher divorce rates compared with children from intact families.  Even 25 five years after a divorce, children from divorced families experience significant fear of failure, fear of loss, fear of change, and fear of conflict.

Children and Adolescents React Differently

Children and adolescents face significant stresses during a divorce, including parental fighting, break-up of the family, traveling between households, and having only one parent at home.  Divorce tends to intensify young children’s dependence on their parents while it accelerates the development of independence among adolescents.  Young children often regress to earlier stages of behavior while adolescents may act out and become angry at their parents during and after a divorce.

Young Children Regress

Divorce damages young children’s trust in their parents while making them insecure and dependent on their parents for support and security.  The most difficult adjustment for young children is the transition from one household to another, because they are forced to leave one parent to visit the other.  Shifting between households activates young children’s fears of abandonment and loss of love.  Changing households induces insecurity, uncertainty, and instability into young children’s life at a time when they are especially vulnerable and experiencing significant anxiety and grief.  Very young children may start wetting the bed and showing other signs of immaturity and stress during a divorce.  Stable recurring routines can help children get through the trauma of a divorce.  An authoritative parenting style also seems to help children adjust to divorce more quickly and strong attachments to both parents help overcome the negative effects of a divorce.

 Children React Differently

Children who are secure, flexible, and mature tend to handle divorce fairly well.  However, if children are having difficulty dealing with divorce, the parents often can’t help because they are overwhelmed themselves.  The first year of a divorce is most difficult for children because of the many changes involved.  After a year or two, most children settle into a new routine and their levels of anxiety and insecurity decrease.

Children struggle to understand why they have to live in two different homes and worry that one or both of their parents will stop loving them.  Some children feel the divorce was their fault because they did something wrong.  Because mothers most often gain primary custody of their young children, father-child relationships may suffer after a divorce.  Without a strong father-child bond, girls have difficulty interacting with boys and boys may become delinquent.  Divorce increases the risk of mental health problems among children and they are more likely to use drugs or engage in early sexual activity compared with children from intact families.

Adolescent Anger

Adolescents usually assert their independence during and after a divorce.  Adolescents separate from their parents and center their social life around friends.  They often act out, rebel against parental discipline, and strive to be self-sufficient because they don’t trust their parents.  Adolescents mask their grief with anger and resentment.  The primary task for parents of adolescents is to help them become responsible, independent adults and allow them to develop independence under benign supervision.

What Parents Can Do

Parents should interact with their children in a kind way, avoid conflict, and never criticize the other parent around the children.  They should also avoid putting the children in the middle of their divorce or forcing them to choose between parents.  It’s important for parents to maintain a healthy relationship with children by not confiding in them or using older children as a support group.  During a divorce, children need an adult parent who can take care of them, not a needy friend.

Use consistent discipline with the children or they will play one parent off against the other.  Adolescents need guidance and tactful discipline during and after the divorce when they are becoming independent.  Help your children feel loved and secure, discuss feelings, and teach them coping skills to deal with life.

Seek professional help if you are feeling overwhelmed.  If you see serious signs of withdrawal, depression, anxiety, or acting out in your children, talk with a pediatrician, school counselor, or mental health professional about how to deal with the problem.

About Harry Munsinger, J.D., Ph.D.

Harry Munsinger practices collaborative and estate law in San Antonio. He has over twenty years experience resolving disputes involving divorce, probate, wills, and trusts. Harry was an adjunct law professor at the University of Texas and St. Mary’s University. He has published several textbooks and over forty psychological and legal articles. Harry has been a forensic psychology expert, a licensed psychologist and a litigator.

Filed Under: Blog, Harry Munsinger, Our-Featured-Authors Tagged With: children and divorce

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published.

Find a Professional

Getting started with the Collaborative Process?

First your need to connect with a trained Collaborative Professional.

[Find Out More....]

Articles by Category

Featured Video

  • Collaborative Divorce Testimonial
  • Child of Divorce

Why Collaborative?

  • Jennifer Leister
  • Steve Walker
  • Carla Calabrese
  • Dawn Budner
  • Becky Davenport
  • Jody Johnson
  • Honey Schef
  • James Urmin
  • Kurt Chacon
  • Natalie Gregg
  • Robert Matlock
  • Deborah Lyons
  • Carlos Salinas
  • Camille Scroggins
  • Linda Solomon
  • Richard Soat
  • Lisa Rothfus
  • Jeffrey Shore
  • Barbara Cole
  • David Brunson
  • Jennifer Tull
  • Syd Sh
  • Susan Z. Wright
  • Christi Trusler
  • Camille Milnser
  • Linda Threats
  • Sarah Keathley
  • MaryAnn Kildebeck
  • David Bouschor
  • LIsa Marquis
  • Harry Munsinger
  • Vicki James
  • Robin Watts
  • Katie Berry
  • Jack Emmott
  • Jennifer Broussard
  • Patricia Havard
  • Paula Locke Smyth
  • Laura Schlenker
  • Norma Trusch
  • Brett Christiansen
  • Tim Whitten
  • Mickey Gayler
  • Melinsa Eitzen
  • Julian Schwartz
  • MaryAnn Knolle
  • Chad Olsen
  • Chris Farish
  • Charles Quaid
  • Anne Shuttee
  • Barbara Runge
  • Rhonda Cleaves -
  • Jamie Patterson
  • Catherine Baron
  • Kristen Algert
  • Sandra Roland
  • Rhonda Cleaves 2
  • Gratia Schoemakers

Have you read?

Integrating Mediation into the Collaborative Divorce Model

Collaborative Divorce is an innovative option of dispute resolution for divorcing couples, built upon a highly specific road map for negotiation.  The parties’ goals and interests are the centerpiece … [Read More...]

More Articles from this Category

The Collaborative Law Institute of Texas

d/b/a
Collaborative Divorce Texas

Proud Members of IACP

12400 Coit Road
Suite 1270
Dallas, TX 75251
(972) 386-0158

Please note: Our office will be closed on

Holiday closures:
Limited: Nov. 23rd & 24th
Closed: Nov. 25th , 26th and 27th

December 24, 2020 - January 1, 2021


Website Terms of Usage

Contact Our Webmaster

 

Follow Us

  • Facebook
  • LinkedIn
  • Twitter
  • Vimeo
  • YouTube

Search Our Website

Find A Professional

  • Find a Collaborative Professional
  • Attorneys
  • Financial Professionals
  • Mental Health Professionals
  • See All
EnglishFrançaisDeutschItalianoPortuguêsEspañol

Copyright © 2021 · Collaborative Divorce Texas · All Rights Reserved

· · ·

Web Design and Maintenance by The Crouch Group