There is no stronger, more enduring or more destructive an emotion in divorce than fear. It strikes at our very essence. It immobilizes us. Makes us sick with worry and unable to believe that we will ever again be alright. President Roosevelt gave his first inaugural address in 1933, at the depth of the Great Depression. He had been elected as President of a nation rich in natural resources and populated with creative, hard-working men and women. There was much about the future which … [Read more...]
Senior Citizens and Divorce
I have a good friend who says that the divorce calculator only subtracts and divides. It does not add and multiply. That’s not entirely true, because spouses who divorce do divide their incomes by half, but then they compensate by multiplying their monthly expenses by two. And halving income but doubling expenses is just the financial bad karma of divorce, to say nothing of the emotional wreckage it often leaves behind – loneliness, despair, and depression are common side effects. All of … [Read more...]
The Secret that Non-Collaborative Lawyers Don’t Want You to Know (Part Two)
The second part of the secret is that out of one hundred divorce cases that are filed, only about ten will go all the way to a final trial. The rest? They’ll settle out or get dismissed, often after huge amounts of money have been spent for lawyers with the result that a marital estate has been pillaged and a mother and father have had their co-parenting relationship irretrievably damaged. The beginning of a divorce lawsuit should not point towards a final trial. Why? Because most divorce … [Read more...]
SHHHH…The Secret that Non-Collaborative Lawyers Don’t Want You to Know
Keep this just between the two of us, will you? Because I’m about to tell you a secret that most non-collaborative family lawyers don’t want you to know. But, it’s a secret which you ought – in good conscience – to be told since it affects anyone and everyone who gets divorced. What is it, you ask? Let me answer you this way. Do you remember Stephen Covey? What about his book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People? It came out in 1989 and even if you’ve never heard of Mr. Covey you … [Read more...]
Do Divorcing People Have to Act Crazy?
Ever known someone who went through a divorce, and they acted like a crazy person? Bet you have. So have I. Wives who cut the crotches out of their husband’s best pants. Husbands who threw their wives’ wedding and engagement rings into the nearest lake. Wives who let their husband’s favorite dog loose on the street. As Rex Harrison – who played the King of Siam opposite Irene Dunne in the 1940’s movie “Anna and The King of Siam” – said: “etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.” Let’s face it, a … [Read more...]
Why Does Collaborative Divorce Work?
Why does collaborative divorce work? The answer depends on who you ask. Lawyers may say it works because it gets the lawyers and judges out of the way. Clients may say it works because of the control it gives them over their divorces, estates and children. Neutral professionals may say it works because they can bring their one-on-one expertise to bear. My view is different and it is this – it’s none of the above nor any other of the umpteen reasons we might give why … [Read more...]
The Five Great Fears of Divorce
In 1941, a few months before the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor, President Roosevelt spoke of the Four Freedoms – freedom of speech, freedom of worship, freedom from want and freedom from fear. In World War II, the Japanese army operated in China under what has come to be known as the Three All’s – kill all, burn all and loot all. Sayings need not be connected with uplifting events or good people to be remembered. They are memorable because they distill the essence of their time and tell … [Read more...]