Holidays can be difficult for children during a divorce. To ease the pain, establish new traditions for you and your children to enjoy over the holidays. New Christmas activities will bring you and your children together and give them joy during this trying time. If possible, plan a joint Christmas celebration with your spouse because that will help your children feel you both still love them. If that’s not practical, plan new activities for you and your children to … [Read more...]
The History of Divorce – Part 4
During the 11th Century, Pope Gregory VII excommunicated all Eastern Orthodox Christians because he was competing with the head of the Eastern Catholic Church for Papal power. The Eastern Orthodox Church never adopted the view that celibacy is the preferred way of life for Christians, and Eastern Priests were allowed to marry and divorce. Eastern Orthodox divorces required a judicial trial and courts granted divorces on grounds of impotence, attempted murder of a spouse, long … [Read more...]
‘Til Death Us Do Part
‘Til Death Us Do Part – The Unintentional Fulfillment of Their Marital Vows, Even After their Divorce A former client called me today to ask what to do with regard to child support since her ex-spouse had died. After I told her, she thanked me for my help in their divorce. They divorced collaboratively. She went on to describe that in the eight plus years since their divorce, they had co-parented successfully. She said that even though people around them wanted them to … [Read more...]
Using the “F” Word In Divorce
In a divorce case, we have a rule about not using the “F’ word. No, it is not that word, but it is the word “Fair”. Everyone wants a fair divorce settlement, but exactly what’s “fair”? There are two major issues that must be resolved in any divorce–how to divide assets and what to do about the kids. The major financial issues are to determine what assets belong to the community estate and what assets are separate property, who will pay child support, the amount of child … [Read more...]
How to Protect Children Through Divorce
Children are a primary concern for parents during the divorce process. This time can be confusing and overwhelming for everyone involved, so it is essential to make sure your kids feel safe and protected. Presented here is a quick list of six things that you can do as co-parents to ensure the mental and emotional wellbeing of your children. 1. Be present for your children The process of divorce is complicated, and often requires a good deal of work and attention that you would otherwise spend … [Read more...]
Top Worries Children Have About Divorce
The transition from married to divorce can be daunting for parents. Children may have their own worries regarding the process of divorce. The family dynamic is changing in a major way, so they may have concerns and fears regarding this major life change. Parents are well served by maintaining a sense of security in their new situation and being aware of common worries regarding divorce.1.1.2 1. They will be poor - It is very likely that your financial situation will change after the dust … [Read more...]
Married for 25 Years – Collaborative Divorce or Litigation?
Dear Abby, we’ve been married for 25 years and have two kids who are now both in college. I think we’ve both been waiting until now, until the kids got through high school, to make this decision. Since our kids are older, what can a Collaborative Divorce do for us that litigation can’t? It’s a great question – how to handle your divorce when your children are grown and out of the house. Many people think that a Collaborative Divorce is just for people who have children under the age of 18. Yes, … [Read more...]
Effect of Divorce on Children and Adolescents
Divorce can have significant negative effects on children and adolescents. Intense parental conflict during or after a divorce is associated with mental health problems among their children. Hetherington found that approximately 25 percent of children whose parents divorced suffered serious emotional, social, and psychological problems as adults compared with just 10 percent of children whose parents remained married. Moreover, children who were very young when their parents divorced had … [Read more...]
History of Divorce: Part III
Roman divorce customs were changed by Christian authorities when the Catholic Church became the official religion of Rome. Christian leaders believed divorce was immoral and marriage should be indissoluble. Catholic scholars believed celibacy was a superior spiritual state to marriage and that it was better to be married than commit the sin of fornication. Early Christian doctrines had a strong influence on divorce laws throughout Europe. In the 4th Century, St. Augustine and others proposed … [Read more...]
When Putting Off Divorce Becomes a Liability
Divorce can be a time of unpleasant conversations, turmoil, and arguments. If you are daydreaming about packing a bag and leaving this mess behind for a few weeks, you are not alone. In fact, many couples choose to separate before divorce. For those who have the financial means to do it, this might mean that one of the spouses moves out of the family home to live elsewhere. There are definite benefits to the moving-out decision. Separate living arrangements can give each spouse a haven to … [Read more...]
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