Both parties are frustrated during a divorce, because the spouse who wants the divorce feels the process is too slow, and the spouse who wants to save the marriage wants to slow things down. Ultimately, the outcome of your divorce will depend on whether you choose a collaborative or an adversarial divorce. A collaborative divorce offers many benefits, including privacy, lower cost, transparency, client control, convenience, preserving family relationships, protecting children, … [Read more...]
Is Collaborative Divorce Right for You?
If you are facing a divorce, or thinking about filing for divorce, you may have discovered that there are several different paths you can follow in a divorce. The traditional path is litigation and just about any attorney can help you with that. Some people are choosing to do it themselves, without an attorney. That can work in very simple cases. Others focus on mediation, which is a good process, but attorneys should be involved. It is most often used in litigated cases. The newest process is … [Read more...]
Understanding Divorce Options
If you’ve come to the decision to divorce, you come to another important decision – how will you accomplish your goal? There are several roads leading to the termination of your marriage, and the one you choose can have a significant impact on your future and that of your family. Following are options to consider: Collaborative Law In the Collaborative Law model, husband and wife and their lawyers agree in advance that no one will take any contested issue to court. The “Collaborative Team,” … [Read more...]
10 Signs You May Need a Divorce
Are you considering a divorce? Not sure what to do? Being ambivalent about divorce is normal because there’s no way to be certain you’re doing the right thing. Being unhappy is stressful and we want to end the pain. However, don’t rush into divorce simply to make yourself feel better. Take your time ending a marriage. It’s a big decision, so before deciding to divorce, consider the following signs you might need to untie the knot. 1. You Have a Sexless Marriage I don’t mean you haven’t had sex … [Read more...]
Does Couples Counseling Work?
Successful couples counseling depends on several factors: both parties must be willing to change, marital problems can’t be impossible, goals need to be realistic, your therapist must be effective, you can’t wait until it’s too late and both spouses must want the marriage to work. Are You Willing to Change? If your partner refuses to attend couples counseling or is unwilling to make any changes in his behavior, it’s difficult to fix your marriage. You may be able to change the dynamics of your … [Read more...]
“Good Divorce” is an Oxymoron
Even though almost half of all marriages end in divorce, no one wants to believe it will happen to them. That’s why it’s such a shock divorce happens. Even if you choose a collaborative divorce, it will be painful. You will experience grief, whether you initiated the divorce or your spouse tells you she doesn’t want to be married to you anymore. Your life will be turned upside down, even if you want to have a “friendly” divorce. Telling the Kids It will be hard to tell your children about the … [Read more...]
What Happens in Collaborative vs. Litigated Divorces?
There are major differences between a collaborative and litigated divorce. In a collaborative divorce, you control the outcome, your goals and interests are important, all information is shared openly, you negotiate a win-win settlement, avoid harm to your children and save money. In a litigated divorce, the attorneys control the case, your goals and interests are secondary, information is hidden, each side attempts to win, the children are often placed in the middle and litigation costs … [Read more...]
Should I Divorce or Stay Married?
Deciding to divorce is a huge step and it’s difficult to make the right choice. Having second thoughts about a divorce when you are over fifty is natural because you will be facing major changes in your life. Whether you or your spouse wants the divorce, take time to think before you act. Ask yourself some simple questions and think about your relationship systematically. Ask Yourself These Questions Do you still love your partner? Are you just threatening divorce because you’re angry or want … [Read more...]
The Four Stages of Divorce
Knowing the four stages of divorce can help you stay on the same page with everyone else involved in the divorce. We wanted to share a blog article that San Antonio family lawyer and Collaborative Divorce Texas member Harry Munsinger shared on his website. Titled "The Four Stages of Divorce," it looks at the emotional process that divorcing people go through. As the article notes, "Individuals experience four psychological stages during divorce: deliberation, decision, transition, and … [Read more...]
What Comes After Telling Your Spouse You Want a Divorce
Telling your spouse you want a divorce is difficult. What comes after can be even more difficult. In my previous article, I talked about how to prepare for telling your spouse that you want a divorce. You know your spouse better than anyone, but if you’ve never had a discussion specifically about the reality that you will be divorcing, you cannot predict how he or she will respond. A surprising number of people who divorce say they never saw it coming, and had no idea how unhappy their … [Read more...]
