Getting a divorce is emotionally stressful, especially for older individuals who are nearing retirement (called gray divorces). Because of the emotional overload associated with a divorce, it’s easy to forget about assets you own that need to be divided. Everyone remembers big assets such as the house, retirement accounts, brokerage accounts, and vehicles. However, forgotten items may be valuable or emotionally meaningful, and if … [Read more...]
January is Child-Centered Divorce Awareness Month
Do Children of Divorce Need Counseling? In my practice, I regularly suggest counseling for the children of parents in conflict because, when the parents are so embroiled in their own conflict or pain, they are sometimes unable to recognize their children’s emotional needs in the way that they need to. When any of us are in deep conflict or pain, we revert to our more primal reactions without even realizing it–we basically can become like helpless children. Brain scientists tell us that we … [Read more...]
Think Like a Child When Going Through Divorce
For many of my years as a family lawyer I was asked by judges to represent the interests of children going through divorce. As an “ad litem” or “amicus attorney”, it was my duty to talk to my young charges to find out what they were thinking and what was bothering them. In many cases their parents couldn’t agree on where the children should live after the divorce, which parent should have the power to make decisions regarding the … [Read more...]
Ten Behaviors of Parents Who Keep Their Divorce Child Focused
When dealing with a divorce where children are a concern, it is of utmost importance to keep the proceedings focused on them and their well-being. A collaborative divorce can achieve this goal, in addition to skipping expensive litigation. Here, we have laid out ten behaviors that divorcing parents should display to keep the divorce child focused, so that parents can promote strong, happy, healthy children during this time. They do not confuse what is best for the children with what is best … [Read more...]
Finance and Children
Divorce is always a challenging time for parents and children alike. There are so many factors to consider such as custody schedules, selling or keeping the family home, splitting assets, etc. As the divorcing parents negotiate the terms of the divorce, they hopefully have the best interest of the children involved. One of the most contentious areas in divorce is finances. Many of the financial matters do not pertain to the children, but there are several that are directly related and managing … [Read more...]
Six Reasons To Choose A Child-Centered Collaborative Divorce
The best way to protect your children during a divorce is to stop fighting and don’t put them in the middle of your disputes. Don’t use the children to hurt each other–make your divorce about protecting them. A high-conflict divorce is harmful to children’s social, personal, and intellectual development–so avoid fighting. A child-centered collaborative divorce can minimize damage to children. Rather that litigate your divorce and postpone healing until after the trial, … [Read more...]
Should Spouses Continue To Live Together During the Divorce?
Living together while going through a divorce can be challenging. Sometimes spouses choose to continue to live together to reduce the expenses of having separate households. However, there are some concerns that continuing to live together is going to result in increased conflict, or anxiety, or stress for the children. Coming up with a pros and cons list and weighing each of the pros and cons can be a way to address this question. Pros and Cons of Continuing to Live … [Read more...]
Collaborative Divorce Is The Right Tool For the Job
The collaborative divorce process can help you achieve your divorce goals. The following article, originally featured in Park Cities People, explains why collaborative divorce is the right tool for the job. If you are contemplating or facing divorce, do you have any of the following goals: Staying in your house;Keeping your children in their current private school or desirable public school district;Making sure college tuition and expenses will be paid;Maintaining a good post-divorce … [Read more...]
Five Things To Know About Taxes And Divorce
Divorce has significant effects on your taxes. For example, if your divorce is final by December 31 of a tax year, the IRS will consider you unmarried for that entire year, so you must file individual rather than joint tax returns. Moreover, due to new tax legislation, alimony is no longer deductible for the person paying and it not taxable to the recipient. It’s possible to go back and change a prior decree to make alimony no longer tax deductible, but changing a divorce … [Read more...]
Top 3 MORE Overlooked Financial Issues During Divorce (Part 2)
Divorce is commonly seen as one of the most stressful experiences one will ever go through. Along with all of that stress, you are also making financial decisions that will most likely affect the rest of your life and perhaps the lives of your children as well. For that reason, it’s always a good idea to get the advice of a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst™ or some other financial professional during your divorce process. Having another set of eyes on your situation is … [Read more...]