Kids remember where they were when their parents first told them about the divorce. If that memory can be as peaceful, loving, and as safe as possible, it is going to be a significantly less traumatic memory for them as they age. Here are a few important suggestions for how to tell the kids that you and your spouse are getting a divorce. The first important piece is that you want to tell your kids at a time where they do not have anything important coming up that day. If … [Read more...]
Emotionally Intelligent Spousing: You Go First!
You may already be the perfect spouse. You exude empathy and love and role model all the best practices for growing a marriage that will last a lifetime. For you, it’s simple. You just happen to possess the very qualities that draw others to you and inspire them to evolve toward their highest potential. For me, on the other hand, it was on-the-job training that felt like a roller coaster ride. Amidst the excitement of new beginnings came increasing chasms in communication and … [Read more...]
Collaborative Divorce—Choosing The Best Divorce Process To Meet Your Child’s Special Needs
Divorce is often a daunting experience for a couple with normal healthy children. But, divorce can be even more overwhelming when the spouses have a child with special needs. In over 35 years of divorce and child custody law practice I have witnessed that most parents, including those with disabled children, overwhelmingly ask to have their child’s or children’s interests be put first. They ask me, “How can we best do that?” Parents, like you, do not have a choice in … [Read more...]
An Open Letter to Kelly Clarkson
Dear Kelly Clarkson, I was reading about your pending divorce with your husband. This is probably a stressful time for you and your family. I have appreciated your artistry over the years and was moved to reach out to you. As a clinical social worker, I have worked with divorcing parents and their children for years and here are a few things I have learned and thought I would share just in case: During the pendency of the divorce … [Read more...]
Dealing With Fear During a Divorce and Pandemic
Are you in a difficult marriage and afraid to get out? Now that you are staying home together because of the pandemic, do you and your spouse fight all the time? Are you feeling depressed and unhappy, but too frightened to see a collaborative divorce attorney? Do you worry about being alone and broke after a divorce? Are you staying in your marriage because of the kids? Don’t think you are alone, because everyone feels anxious about … [Read more...]
Collaborative Pandemic Co-Parenting: Putting Your Child First
I don’t think any couple going through a Collaborative Divorce ever imagined they would have to come up with co-parenting guidelines for a Pandemic. And although you may not have completed your divorce just yet, you still need to cooperatively co-parent. While a crisis like the COVID-19 pandemic definitely adds to the stress of co-parenting, it also highlights why you chose Collaborative Divorce, over other options, in the first place. Collaborative Divorce and COVID-19 co- parenting … [Read more...]
Keep Calm and Parent On: Because Anxiety Is Contagious
Anxiety is a common, treatable problem among children and teens. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, one out of every three children will meet the criteria for an anxiety disorder by the age of 18. Although anxious feelings can occur at any age, children will often develop short-term symptoms of anxiety when confronted with a challenging event, such as the recent outbreak of the coronavirus disease or even more … [Read more...]
Filing For Divorce and Bankruptcy
Going through a difficult divorce during the COVID-19 pandemic can be bad enough, but your difficulties will multiply if you lose your job or face expensive medical care. You may need to file for bankruptcy as well as get a divorce. Even if you don’t catch the virus or lose your job, divorce adversely affects most family finances and is the leading cause of bankruptcy in America. If you and your spouse are considering a divorce and filing for bankruptcy at the … [Read more...]
COVID-19 Only Re-Enforces Wisdom of Collaborative Divorce – Part 4
Trying to get court settings for hearings in family law cases is a difficult proposition in normal times. Final trial dates are often available no less than 8 months, and up to 18 months, into the future, with the possibility of a continuance. And that was before the Courts closed to non-essential matters and all trials because of COVID-19. All cases set during the closure are now in need of reset and will have priority over newer cases. All hearings needed in pending cases but deemed … [Read more...]
Choosing a Collaborative Divorce Amidst Court Backlogs
The 2020 pandemic has ushered in a series of societal changes, some of which are temporary and some permanent. But regardless of which, we are all looking for ways to navigate around the different effects of COVID-19 on our daily lives. While restaurants, bars, gyms, and the like have been closed and will work to open up, the same is true of our Texas court system. For literally months as of this writing, courts in the state have been closed to only “essential” matters. Hearings and trials have … [Read more...]
