There are some statements that therapists often hear from parents when they go through a traditional divorce. Instead of helping parents come together for the sake of their children, divorce frequently creates more disharmony and mistrust. The mental scars to the offspring cannot be overstated. Below are some of what therapists here. “My ex is poisoning my kids towards me. She is feeding them lies!” “He’s a narcissist, that is why I am divorcing him. Now he continues to try to control me … [Read more...]
How To Hire The Right Divorce Attorney For You
Now that the difficult decision has been made to divorce, the time has come to find the right attorney who will guide you through the challenges you are about to face. At a minimum, you need this person to have the knowledge and experience to advise you through this new and emotional time in your life. You want to find a person who exhibits the appropriate level of concern and respect for you, and your family, as you work your way through the decisions involved in getting a divorce and beginning … [Read more...]
What Do Children Want and Need When Their Parents’ Divorce?
Children need to see their parents being supportive of each other, especially during a divorce. They need to see their parents having a united front - that they are still able to communicate with each other and make decisions for them that are in their best interest. Ultimately, children need to see that they are still both their parents even though they are getting a divorce. The Children's Bill of Rights was created many years ago. It is a Bill of Rights that helps parents remember that … [Read more...]
Common Parenting Time Configurations
It can be helpful to have a starting place when beginning your “parenting plan writing” process. Gone are the days of assuming that one parent gets every other weekend and Wednesdays. Thankfully, the family law industry is moving in a much more equitable (and healthy) direction. Here are some common parenting plan schedules that we see in Collaborative Divorce and parenting planning in general. **All of the plans shown below reflect a 50/50 parenting plan arrangement. More than 95% of … [Read more...]
How Do We Tell Our Kids?
One of the most common concerns parents have as they approach divorce and separation is this: “What should we tell the kids, and how should we tell them?” Telling your children that you are separating or getting divorced can cause enormous feelings of guilt and sadness in parents. Parents are also understandably concerned that their kids will feel pain, anger or confusion, and parents often want to shield their children from these feelings. I can certainly understand that. Seeing … [Read more...]
Parenting Planning: Things to Be Aware Of
When it comes time to begin building out your parenting plan, the possible combinations of choices are literally endless. Here are just some of the topics that you'll need to discuss and agree upon: Parenting time ratios - 50/50? 60/40?Parenting time logistics - which days are at whose home?How do we choose childcare providers in the future?How do we handle holidays? Which holidays do we care about?Who will be in charge of passports?Which parent will handle primary care … [Read more...]
What is Co-Parenting and Why Do You Have to Do It?
Having and raising children is a challenge. Having to co-parent children during separation or divorce can feel impossible. Children see and hear the sadness and anger taking place around them. Parents don’t always think about what is in the best interests of the children, because they are so hurt or upset by their own pain. Teaching parents to focus on what is truly best for the children is why most courts mandate parenting classes, in order to encourage more effective co-parenting. So, … [Read more...]
Divorce: Dividing the House and Other Assets
Psychiatrists and psychologists rank divorce as the second most stressful life event behind the death of a spouse. In a divorce, one of the most frustrating parts of the process involves the division of the family’s assets. Both spouses are concerned about how they will stretch the finances that have supported one household to now support two. One of the biggest pieces of the financial puzzle is “Who gets the house in a divorce?” In traditional divorce litigation, the focus is often on, … [Read more...]
The Three Most Important Decisions Before You File For Divorce
As a Collaborative Divorce Attorney, I have witnessed the sheer agony experienced by those I have served in making the decision to divorce. I have learned just how important it is to finally and fully decide it is the right time to uncouple in the right way. The first and most important decision is not a legal one at all. Whether you are the spouse who is the one leaving or the one left behind, it is essential to attain complete … [Read more...]
Child Custody Disputes – The Saddest Battle
One of my favorite assignments as a board-certified family lawyer was being chosen by a family court judge to represent a child whose parents were divorcing. The reason the courts appoint attorneys for children whose parents cannot agree on post-divorce care and custodial arrangements, is to protect the children from the worst aspects of their parents’ dispute and to give them a voice in the process. It was a gratifying job, but a frustrating one. … [Read more...]
