If you or your spouse is crazy, you probably need all the help you can get. But most people going through a Collaborative divorce aren't crazy -- choosing Collaborative is a very rational, sane decision, after all! Actually, almost everyone going through a divorce could use some professional assistance, but some need it more than others. In a Collaborative divorce, the parties experience the same emotions that are experienced in a litigated divorce, although hopefully less intensively. In … [Read more...]
How to Take Conflict Out of Divorce
It's possible to divorce in a way that supports the well-being of everyone. You can end the conflict, heal the hurt and part as friends. You just need to learn how. Unfortunately, most divorces are handled in a very different way. Sides are drawn and issues become something to fight over rather than something to resolve. Walls of protection get fortified and distance grows. Then we bring in adversarial attorneys and escalate the conflict dramatically. We hurt each other over and over, feeling … [Read more...]
Why Are Mental Health Professionals Part of the Collaborative Divorce Process?
If you visit the Collaborative Law Institute of Texas' website, you might notice that when looking up our members, mental health professionals are listed as well as lawyers. That portion of our member roster highlights something important about the collaborative law process: It's a process that has each participant's long-term well-being in concern. In divorce cases involving children, the parties involved typically don't stop interacting once the divorce is finalized, and the divorce doesn't … [Read more...]
Child Custody Decisions
Divorce can be very difficult emotionally. Powerful feelings can get stirred up when discussing custody arrangements or a change in custody. Getting into a custody fight can be one of the most expensive, emotionally draining and destructive things someone can do. That’s true whether it is an initial custody determination or a subsequent modification or change of custody. A custody fight can be as damaging for the children as it is for the adults. For those who want a more civilized means of … [Read more...]
Helping Children Deal With the Grief of Divorce
Confronting the loss of the family system can be very difficult for children coping with divorce. Caring adults in these children’s lives may feel overwhelmed and helpless when faced with divorce and may feel unskilled in assisting children navigate this confusing time. These adults may want to help, but have no idea what to do. Being Supportive A grieving child needs supportive adult help to go through and complete the mourning process. Adults must take the initiative in offering help. The … [Read more...]
The Differences Between Collaboration and Litigation
One of the things we emphasize most in explaining Collaborative Law is that it's different from the traditional divorce process, which utilizes litigation. Here are some of what we call "process descriptors," which help establish the difference between litigation and Collaboration. In litigation: * Parties in disputes often feel intimidated, fearful, anxious, powerless, out gunned, and not in control. * The process is often focused on assigning blame or fault for problems. * The results … [Read more...]
