You’ve entered that time of your life that you may (or may not) have been dreading: the empty nest. It’s not uncommon for married couples to reassess their relationship when the last kid heads off to college, or cleans out their closet in preparation for the move to their first full-time job. If your reassessment results in divorce, or if you’re a man or woman of a certain age who finds themselves in the midst of a divorce, you may not give much thought to how your children will fare during this … [Read more...]
3 Rules for Introducing a “Step” Parent to Kids
I have had the pleasure of working with families during their transitions, their initial divorce, post-divorce modifications or a second marriage. I started using the language “Bonus Parents and Bonus Kids” when children had anxiety around the idea of a stepparent. I remember as a kid thinking all stepparents must be like Cinderella’s evil stepmother. Kiddos that I counsel still have those fears at times. I learned calling a stepparent a “bonus” for them, another adult to love on them, help them … [Read more...]
How Collaborative Divorce Can Help Couples Who Are “Stuck”
If you're feeling "stuck" in your marriage (or in your divorce proceedings), collaborative divorce can help you. We ran across an interesting article recently from the folks at the Tennessee Collaborative Divorce Blog about couples who are "stuck" and have come to begrudgingly accept their own "stuck stories." These couples, according to the article, have a narrative in which they're out of sync, unable to communicate, and unable to reconcile their differences. If these couples choose to … [Read more...]
Co-Parents: 10 Tips to Keep It Cool When It’s Hot Out
Summer co-parenting can be challenging; when the temperature gets hotter, here's how to stay cool. As the summer heats up, sometimes co-parenting can be emotionally charged for all parties, so it can be easy to let anger get the best of you. While being angry is acceptable and natural and you may have no control over how you perceive the actions of your co-parent, you are most certainly responsible for how you respond. Here is a quick list of suggestions on how to deal with a heated … [Read more...]
Summer Parenting Time (and its Impact on Kids)
When parents get divorced, they need to think about how to handle summer parenting time as well as parenting time during the school year – for their kids' sakes. When divorced parents think about their schedules with their children, they often focus on what happens during the school year. For some parents, the standard parenting time in the Family Code – or the expanded version of it – works well for their family. Other families aim for a 50-50 schedule, often using a week on/week off … [Read more...]
Your Restructured Family’s Team, For Life
When a collaborative divorce team is assembled for you, you have the option of reassembling them, should you need to modify your initial decree. Dawn Budner and Carla Calabrese, partners at Calabrese Huff, recently appeared on the Jeff Crilley Show (on 1190 Talk Radio in Dallas) to talk about collaborative divorce and its evolution in Texas. They made a number of great points throughout the interview, including some interesting takes on the collaborative divorce team. Budner highlighted … [Read more...]
Advocating for Children in the Collaborative Process
In advance of the 9th Annual Collaborative Law Course presented by the State Bar of Texas, we spoke to Carie P. Mack, an Allen-based collaboratively-trained family lawyer and co-presenter of the session titled “Advocating for Children in the Collaborative Process,” to learn more about the information she’ll be sharing with other Texas collaborative professionals. What are the different ways mental health professionals might be used in a collaborative case? There are three roles that a … [Read more...]
Give Peace a Chance
The day we honor Dr. Martin Luther King is right around the corner. I am reminded of one of his many quotes about peace; one of my favorites is: “Peace is not merely a distant goal that we seek but a means by which we arrive at that goal.” I worked for many years in a bully prevention program teaching children and parents about making peaceful decisions. The root of many programs dealing with respect is based in parental modeling and positive mutual regard. These curricula are based in the … [Read more...]
10 Co-Parenting Resolutions for the New Year
This article is from Syd Sharples, an Austin-based mental health professional who specializes in psychotherapy and collaborative facilitation, and past president for the Collaborative Law Institute of Texas. I just spent the holidays with my daughter and her father. I think I would probably have preferred a month-long defensive driving class to the holidays with my ex when I first divorced him many years ago, , but from where I sit now, it was a warm and highly enjoyable family occasion. … [Read more...]
What to Do (and What Not to Do) With Children During Your Divorce
We happened upon an excellent blog article recently from the Brazos Valley Collaborative Divorce Alliance, a group of collaborative divorce professionals based in College Station. We recently covered the impact of divorce on children, which was a big topic at the latest International Association of Collaborative Professionals conference, but the article from our friends in College Station gives good, specific advice on best ways to proceed with your children when you’re in a divorce. Their first … [Read more...]
