Holidays can be daunting for children in the middle of a divorce. No matter how you celebrated past holidays, you need to establish new traditions now that you are divorcing. New holiday activities will help your children forget the pain of divorce and bring them joy. If possible, plan a joint Thanksgiving or Christmas celebration with your spouse because that will help your children feel comfortable. If that’s not practical, begin new traditions with your children. Keep the Kids … [Read more...]
Holiday Time-Sharing When You Are a “Different (Divorced) Kind of Family”
Holidays are a time for families. There is perhaps no more difficult time to be divorced than during the holiday season when everywhere that you look you see a reminder of what you have lost. In light of how hard it is for divorced adults to get through the holidays, it is just as hard for your children when their “new normal” or their “different kind of family” means they are sharing their holiday celebrations between homes and between parents. Divorced parents create a year round … [Read more...]
Happy Holidaze
The holiday season can be a time of merriment when celebrating with family and friends. Parents raising children in two homes, alternating time with the other parent may experience feelings of anxiousness or sadness during this time. Instead of grieving past family traditions, parents are encouraged to follow the following guidelines so that they might provide their children the best holiday experience ever. 1. Communicate directly and early with your co-parent Send business-like emails to the … [Read more...]
When NOT to Tell Your Kids About Divorce
One of the most difficult challenges facing parents who are planning to divorce is what to tell their children. While indeed this is perhaps the most painful conversation that you will ever have, a frequently overlooked dynamic is the timing of this discussion. Empathize with Your Child As a parent, it is extremely important to see this experience from your child’s perspective. Once the actual decision is finally made, you are often driven by anxiety to tell your child as quickly as possible; … [Read more...]
10 Co-Parenting Resolutions for the New Year
This article is from Syd Sharples, an Austin-based mental health professional who specializes in psychotherapy and collaborative facilitation, and past president for the Collaborative Law Institute of Texas. I just spent the holidays with my daughter and her father. I think I would probably have preferred a month-long defensive driving class to the holidays with my ex when I first divorced him many years ago, , but from where I sit now, it was a warm and highly enjoyable family occasion. … [Read more...]
Christmas, Then New Year’s, Then Divorce?
If you pay any attention at all to news stories around divorce, you’re aware that the holiday season usually brings at least one article about how unhappy couples, determined to stay together through the end of the year, make plans to divorce once the New Year arrives. The expense and stress of the holidays prove to be the last straw for couples who have already been contemplating divorce. An article from the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette from earlier this month had an interesting finding: While it … [Read more...]
A Case Against Holiday Time-Sharing for Divorced Parents
A standard parenting scheduling in Texas splits up the three major holidays of the holiday season: it gives one parent Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day with the children on even years and Christmas on odd years, and the other parent gets the reverse schedule. For the parent getting the children during Christmas, it’s actually a fairly long stretch that goes from the Friday the children are let out for winter break from school until noon on the 28th, with the other parent getting them until they … [Read more...]
“Find Your New Normal” This Holiday Season
The holidays are upon us! Thanksgiving is next week, and you've probably noticed that some stores are already piping in holiday music and pointing visitors to Christmas presents. (You've also probably noticed new cups at Starbucks that may or may not be festive enough for some people's liking, but that's another topic for another day and another blog.) The holidays, while they have the potential to be wonderful and bring happy memories, can also be stressful and emotionally tumultuous, … [Read more...]
Can You Get a Divorce AND Have Joyous Holidays?
This article was written by Tracy Stewart, a College-Station based financial planner, a Brazos Valley Collaborative Divorce Alliance founding member, and a former Collaborative Law Institute of Texas board member specializing in collaborative divorce. Yes. Get a collaborative divorce. Steer clear of a court-system divorce. Avoid draining your savings. Side step family squabbles. Enjoy your holidays. How Does Collaborative Divorce Get You Happy Holidays? In a Collaborative Divorce, you learn … [Read more...]
Avoiding Christmas Custody Games
This article is from Curtis Harrison, a partner with GoransonBain, PLLC, and the President-Elect for the Collaborative Law Institute of Texas' board. Christmas is finally here again. For millions of Americans, Christmas really is the most wonderful time of the year. But if you are in the middle of a divorce or child-custody modification, you may have discovered that reindeer aren't the only ones who are playing games: 1. Perhaps you just received an "Ex-text" informing you for the first … [Read more...]
