Divorcing with children involves the whole family. One day, everyone knows where everyone is and where things go and what the rules are, the next day everything has changed. Parents do everything they can to ‘keep the kids out of it’, to let them know it isn’t their ‘fault’ and that these decisions are parent decisions. Collaborative Divorce supports parents and helps them see the child’s concerns and address them in unique ways. Fear Of The Dark Children fear the dark and monsters. … [Read more...]
Collaborative Divorce Is An Option Worth Considering… Because We All Love Our Children.
Divorces are never easy, and truth be told, the lawyer you choose might set the tone of how your Divorce progresses (and pretty much the rest of your life, if you are not careful). Shocked? Me too! So let me explain. There seems to be a general view that a divorce must be an anxiety-riddled event, full of dread, ill will, and bickering, and some attorney will make this a reality. So beware when you choose your attorney! Those who advertise themselves as “fighters” or other terms that … [Read more...]
What To Do When Your Child Refuses To Visit Your Ex
Many divorced parents wonder what they should do when their child doesn’t want to visit the other parent. Should they encourage their child to go on the visitation or let him or her decide? That depends on the child’s age–teens are old enough to make their own decisions, but younger children are not. Before you decide on a strategy, it’s a good idea to find out why your child is resistant to going on the visit. Ask your child why he or she doesn’t want to visit their … [Read more...]
Why Does Collaborative Divorce Make Co-Parenting Easier?
Undoubtedly, divorce is one of the most difficult experiences for many people. Unwinding years of being together with one person is incredibly emotional. What makes it even more complicated is finding a way to navigate down this path when there are minor children involved. Many of my family law clients struggle to meet in the middle when it comes to raising their children in separate households. I had mentioned in my previous post that marriage is the ability to come … [Read more...]
Divorcing With A Special-Needs Child
Getting a divorce is hard on any family, but it’s especially difficult when a special-needs child is involved, because the burden of care and planning for the child falls mostly on the custodial parent. When a special-needs child is involved in a divorce, the issues of custody, visitation, child support, and division of community assets become more complex and require special attention. Standard child support and custody guidelines don’t address the extra costs and unique … [Read more...]
Putting The Kids First In Your Divorce
Many times in my career as a family lawyer I was appointed by a judge as an amicus or ad litem attorney with the job of representing the best interests of the children whose parents were going through a divorce. As such, I would meet with my young clients to find out how I could best help them, and what I heard time and time again was the complaint: “Please make my parents stop fighting.” What this told me was that the parents were not able to put their own anger and fears aside and focus on … [Read more...]
Eight Factors Judges Use When Deciding Who Makes Decisions About The Children After A Divorce
During a litigated divorce, judges must decide who will have the right to make non-emergency decisions about children’s living arrangement, where they will attend school, their medical care, and their religious training. Courts may award sole custody to one parent or give both parents the joint right to make decisions about their children. Having sole custody means one parent need not consult with the other parent when making decisions about the children. On the other hand, … [Read more...]
Top Worries Children Have About Divorce
The transition from married to divorce can be daunting for parents. Children may have their own worries regarding the process of divorce. The family dynamic is changing in a major way, so they may have concerns and fears regarding this major life change. Parents are well served by maintaining a sense of security in their new situation and being aware of common worries regarding divorce.1.1.2 1. They will be poor - It is very likely that your financial situation will change after the dust … [Read more...]
College Students and Divorce
Much has been written about children and divorce. Divorcing or divorced parents of college-aged students may underestimate how this change in family circumstance affects their offspring. College students are not “immune” from effects of changes within the family unit, parents’ behaviors and expectations, or uncertainty regarding where they belong in their family post divorce. The apprehension surrounding this “new normal” can leave a young adult feeling out of sorts and emotionally … [Read more...]
5 Tips for Dealing with Your Adult Children During Your Divorce
One of the great things about being older is that our children are adults. Relationships where we have all the power, set the rules, and dole out consequences change into more balanced, peer relationships. Perhaps they’re now asking for our advice about parenting their own children rather than looking for opportunities to rebel. It’s nice to be able to talk openly with your grown children about things you would not discuss with them when it was your responsibility to protect them from things … [Read more...]
