Undoubtedly, divorce is one of the most difficult experiences for many people. Unwinding years of being together with one person is incredibly emotional. What makes it even more complicated is finding a way to navigate down this path when there are minor children involved. Many of my family law clients struggle to meet in the middle when it comes to raising their children in separate households. I had mentioned in my previous post that marriage is the ability to come … [Read more...]
Divorcing With A Special-Needs Child
Getting a divorce is hard on any family, but it’s especially difficult when a special-needs child is involved, because the burden of care and planning for the child falls mostly on the custodial parent. When a special-needs child is involved in a divorce, the issues of custody, visitation, child support, and division of community assets become more complex and require special attention. Standard child support and custody guidelines don’t address the extra costs and unique … [Read more...]
Putting The Kids First In Your Divorce
Many times in my career as a family lawyer I was appointed by a judge as an amicus or ad litem attorney with the job of representing the best interests of the children whose parents were going through a divorce. As such, I would meet with my young clients to find out how I could best help them, and what I heard time and time again was the complaint: “Please make my parents stop fighting.” What this told me was that the parents were not able to put their own anger and fears aside and focus on … [Read more...]
Eight Factors Judges Use When Deciding Who Makes Decisions About The Children After A Divorce
During a litigated divorce, judges must decide who will have the right to make non-emergency decisions about children’s living arrangement, where they will attend school, their medical care, and their religious training. Courts may award sole custody to one parent or give both parents the joint right to make decisions about their children. Having sole custody means one parent need not consult with the other parent when making decisions about the children. On the other hand, … [Read more...]
Top Worries Children Have About Divorce
The transition from married to divorce can be daunting for parents. Children may have their own worries regarding the process of divorce. The family dynamic is changing in a major way, so they may have concerns and fears regarding this major life change. Parents are well served by maintaining a sense of security in their new situation and being aware of common worries regarding divorce.1.1.2 1. They will be poor - It is very likely that your financial situation will change after the dust … [Read more...]
College Students and Divorce
Much has been written about children and divorce. Divorcing or divorced parents of college-aged students may underestimate how this change in family circumstance affects their offspring. College students are not “immune” from effects of changes within the family unit, parents’ behaviors and expectations, or uncertainty regarding where they belong in their family post divorce. The apprehension surrounding this “new normal” can leave a young adult feeling out of sorts and emotionally … [Read more...]
5 Tips for Dealing with Your Adult Children During Your Divorce
One of the great things about being older is that our children are adults. Relationships where we have all the power, set the rules, and dole out consequences change into more balanced, peer relationships. Perhaps they’re now asking for our advice about parenting their own children rather than looking for opportunities to rebel. It’s nice to be able to talk openly with your grown children about things you would not discuss with them when it was your responsibility to protect them from things … [Read more...]
Divorcing with an Empty Nest: What About the Kids?
You’ve entered that time of your life that you may (or may not) have been dreading: the empty nest. It’s not uncommon for married couples to reassess their relationship when the last kid heads off to college, or cleans out their closet in preparation for the move to their first full-time job. If your reassessment results in divorce, or if you’re a man or woman of a certain age who finds themselves in the midst of a divorce, you may not give much thought to how your children will fare during this … [Read more...]
3 Rules for Introducing a “Step” Parent to Kids
I have had the pleasure of working with families during their transitions, their initial divorce, post-divorce modifications or a second marriage. I started using the language “Bonus Parents and Bonus Kids” when children had anxiety around the idea of a stepparent. I remember as a kid thinking all stepparents must be like Cinderella’s evil stepmother. Kiddos that I counsel still have those fears at times. I learned calling a stepparent a “bonus” for them, another adult to love on them, help them … [Read more...]
Challenges for the Stay-at-Home Parent Facing Divorce
Due to many factors, such as increasing child care costs, philosophical resolve, or stress of managing home and life, many couples make a conscious decision at some point in their marriage to have only one parent work outside the home. When parents make the decision to divorce, one of the many difficult aspects to consider occurs when one parent is displaced as he or she has not worked in the labor force for a substantial number of years but worked in the home providing unpaid services for … [Read more...]
