Billy’s parents are divorcing. Billy is 7 years old and he is worried that he will never see his father again. Harper’s parents are divorcing. She is 19 years old and Harper is worried that her parents will no longer be able to pay for her college. Jim’s parents are divorcing. Jim is 10 years old. Jim is worried that he will be separated from his dog half the time. Madelyn’s parents are divorcing. She is 13 years old. Madelyn is worried that they will have to move, and she will lose all of her … [Read more...]
Think Like a Child When Going Through Divorce
For many of my years as a family lawyer I was asked by judges to represent the interests of children going through divorce. As an “ad litem” or “amicus attorney”, it was my duty to talk to my young charges to find out what they were thinking and what was bothering them. In many cases their parents couldn’t agree on where the children should live after the divorce, which parent should have the power to make decisions … [Read more...]
Ten Behaviors of Parents Who Keep Their Divorce Child Focused
When dealing with a divorce where children are a concern, it is of utmost importance to keep the proceedings focused on them and their well-being. A collaborative divorce can achieve this goal, in addition to skipping expensive litigation. Here, we have laid out ten behaviors that divorcing parents should display to keep the divorce child focused, so that parents can promote strong, happy, healthy children during this time. They do not confuse what is best for the children with what is best … [Read more...]
Finance and Children
Divorce is always a challenging time for parents and children alike. There are so many factors to consider such as custody schedules, selling or keeping the family home, splitting assets, etc. As the divorcing parents negotiate the terms of the divorce, they hopefully have the best interest of the children involved. One of the most contentious areas in divorce is finances. Many of the financial matters do not pertain to the children, but there are several that are directly related and managing … [Read more...]
Six Reasons To Choose A Child-Centered Collaborative Divorce
The best way to protect your children during a divorce is to stop fighting and don’t put them in the middle of your disputes. Don’t use the children to hurt each other–make your divorce about protecting them. A high-conflict divorce is harmful to children’s social, personal, and intellectual development–so avoid fighting. A child-centered collaborative divorce can minimize damage to children. Rather that litigate your divorce and postpone healing until after the trial, … [Read more...]
Divorce Is A Family Affair
Divorcing with children involves the whole family. One day, everyone knows where everyone is and where things go and what the rules are, the next day everything has changed. Parents do everything they can to ‘keep the kids out of it’, to let them know it isn’t their ‘fault’ and that these decisions are parent decisions. Collaborative Divorce supports parents and helps them see the child’s concerns and address them in unique ways. Fear Of The Dark Children fear the dark and monsters. … [Read more...]
Collaborative Divorce Is An Option Worth Considering… Because We All Love Our Children.
Divorces are never easy, and truth be told, the lawyer you choose might set the tone of how your Divorce progresses (and pretty much the rest of your life, if you are not careful). Shocked? Me too! So let me explain. There seems to be a general view that a divorce must be an anxiety-riddled event, full of dread, ill will, and bickering, and some attorney will make this a reality. So beware when you choose your attorney! Those who advertise themselves as “fighters” or other terms that … [Read more...]
What To Do When Your Child Refuses To Visit Your Ex
Many divorced parents wonder what they should do when their child doesn’t want to visit the other parent. Should they encourage their child to go on the visitation or let him or her decide? That depends on the child’s age–teens are old enough to make their own decisions, but younger children are not. Before you decide on a strategy, it’s a good idea to find out why your child is resistant to going on the visit. Ask your child why he or she doesn’t want to visit their … [Read more...]
Why Does Collaborative Divorce Make Co-Parenting Easier?
Undoubtedly, divorce is one of the most difficult experiences for many people. Unwinding years of being together with one person is incredibly emotional. What makes it even more complicated is finding a way to navigate down this path when there are minor children involved. Many of my family law clients struggle to meet in the middle when it comes to raising their children in separate households. I had mentioned in my previous post that marriage is the ability to come … [Read more...]
Divorcing With A Special-Needs Child
Getting a divorce is hard on any family, but it’s especially difficult when a special-needs child is involved, because the burden of care and planning for the child falls mostly on the custodial parent. When a special-needs child is involved in a divorce, the issues of custody, visitation, child support, and division of community assets become more complex and require special attention. Standard child support and custody guidelines don’t address the extra costs and unique … [Read more...]
