In 2005, the Texas Legislature revised child custody by requiring that the parties or a judge develop a parenting plan to allocate rights and duties. The elements of a parenting plan include who may exercise various parental rights and duties, who will pay child support and whether a parenting coordinator is needed to facilitate co-parenting post-divorce. Parents submit a proposed parenting plan to the court and if accepted, the court will issue a parenting order. Developing a parenting plan can … [Read more...]
No Need to Reinvent the Wheel: Technology to make Co-parenting Easier
After divorce, communicating with the other parent in a child focused, businesslike manner can be maximized when parents utilize online systems for parents raising kids in two homes. These centrally located programs can assist parents in developing weekly schedules for the kids, provide logistical information, build a searchable history and timeline of key events for children as information is kept “in the cloud” for both parents. Google Calendar: The Google calendar is an online … [Read more...]
3 Rules for Introducing a “Step” Parent to Kids
I have had the pleasure of working with families during their transitions, their initial divorce, post-divorce modifications or a second marriage. I started using the language “Bonus Parents and Bonus Kids” when children had anxiety around the idea of a stepparent. I remember as a kid thinking all stepparents must be like Cinderella’s evil stepmother. Kiddos that I counsel still have those fears at times. I learned calling a stepparent a “bonus” for them, another adult to love on them, help them … [Read more...]
Challenges for the Stay-at-Home Parent Facing Divorce
Due to many factors, such as increasing child care costs, philosophical resolve, or stress of managing home and life, many couples make a conscious decision at some point in their marriage to have only one parent work outside the home. When parents make the decision to divorce, one of the many difficult aspects to consider occurs when one parent is displaced as he or she has not worked in the labor force for a substantial number of years but worked in the home providing unpaid services for … [Read more...]
The Five Great Fears of Divorce
In 1941, a few months before the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor, President Roosevelt spoke of the Four Freedoms – freedom of speech, freedom of worship, freedom from want and freedom from fear. In World War II, the Japanese army operated in China under what has come to be known as the Three All’s – kill all, burn all and loot all. Sayings need not be connected with uplifting events or good people to be remembered. They are memorable because they distill the essence of their time and tell … [Read more...]
Holiday Time-Sharing When You Are a “Different (Divorced) Kind of Family”
Holidays are a time for families. There is perhaps no more difficult time to be divorced than during the holiday season when everywhere that you look you see a reminder of what you have lost. In light of how hard it is for divorced adults to get through the holidays, it is just as hard for your children when their “new normal” or their “different kind of family” means they are sharing their holiday celebrations between homes and between parents. Divorced parents create a year round … [Read more...]
Happy Holidaze
The holiday season can be a time of merriment when celebrating with family and friends. Parents raising children in two homes, alternating time with the other parent may experience feelings of anxiousness or sadness during this time. Instead of grieving past family traditions, parents are encouraged to follow the following guidelines so that they might provide their children the best holiday experience ever. 1. Communicate directly and early with your co-parent Send business-like emails to the … [Read more...]
Co-parenting, Technology and the 21st Century
Avoiding the Pitfalls Thanks to affordable mobile technology, there has never been a time like now when co-parents and children are quickly and easily accessible. It is easy to see the benefits of such technology: access to children’s events, news, instantly communicating with your family. For co-parents, strategic planning is needed to avoid any of the pitfalls these tools might bring. Text messages, e-mail, photos, videos and social media posts can all be kindling in the fire of … [Read more...]
How Collaborative Divorce Can Help Couples Who Are “Stuck”
If you're feeling "stuck" in your marriage (or in your divorce proceedings), collaborative divorce can help you. We ran across an interesting article recently from the folks at the Tennessee Collaborative Divorce Blog about couples who are "stuck" and have come to begrudgingly accept their own "stuck stories." These couples, according to the article, have a narrative in which they're out of sync, unable to communicate, and unable to reconcile their differences. If these couples choose to … [Read more...]
Co-Parents: 10 Tips to Keep It Cool When It’s Hot Out
Summer co-parenting can be challenging; when the temperature gets hotter, here's how to stay cool. As the summer heats up, sometimes co-parenting can be emotionally charged for all parties, so it can be easy to let anger get the best of you. While being angry is acceptable and natural and you may have no control over how you perceive the actions of your co-parent, you are most certainly responsible for how you respond. Here is a quick list of suggestions on how to deal with a heated … [Read more...]
