Divorce is hard enough when everyone cooperates. But what should you do if you suspect that your spouse may not be playing fair? Some might hide money under the proverbial mattress (or inside an air duct), others may create a fictitious company to funnel funds to – all in an effort to underplay their net worth, give up fewer assets or pay less in children’s expenses. This is a difficult situation indeed. All you may have in the beginning is a few facts that aren’t adding up, or continuous … [Read more...]
The Grey Divorce: Who Wants to See Me Naked?
Some couples complain post divorce that they were not satisfied with the level of intimacy in their marriage. This might have been due to the amount of stress within the marriage, lack of communication, extra marital affairs, or issues of power and control within the relationship. Newly or not so newly divorced individuals may encounter a fear of intimacy due to underlying fears of abandonment, vulnerability, rejection, shame, or guilt. Additionally, one’s sense of self and sexual confidence … [Read more...]
How to start the case: What do you do when your crystal ball is broken?
One of the problems at the outset of any case is that you never know how the case is going to end. Relatively few cases end up in a full-scale war. Even fewer end up going to all the way to trial. But some do. Most cases settle. Most people that get divorced end up with an Agreed Decree of Divorce — which is the end product of settlement. Some get to settlement through negotiation, some with the help of mediation, and some using the Collaborative Process. No matter how you think your case is … [Read more...]
No Need to Reinvent the Wheel: Technology to make Co-parenting Easier
After divorce, communicating with the other parent in a child focused, businesslike manner can be maximized when parents utilize online systems for parents raising kids in two homes. These centrally located programs can assist parents in developing weekly schedules for the kids, provide logistical information, build a searchable history and timeline of key events for children as information is kept “in the cloud” for both parents. Google Calendar: The Google calendar is an online solution … [Read more...]
Setting Child Support For Infants And Young Children
How much should a parent pay to support his/her children? According to the Texas Legislature, which established statutory guidelines for setting child support, payments, the amount should be based primarily on the net income of the payer and the number of children before the court. However, parents will tell you it’s much more expensive to support a teenager than an infant. This is an important issue for most couples, because child support payments continue until the last child is 18 or … [Read more...]
Going Back To College After A Divorce
Many stay-at-home moms find they need additional education or training before they can return to work after a divorce. With school starting, now’s a good time to consider whether you might go back to school along with your children. Whether you need to finish high school by earning you GED or you want to earn a college degree, additional education will open new opportunities. If it’s not realistic for you to attend a full-time college because of financial constraints or child care … [Read more...]
Tips for Kids Going Back to School after a Divorce
Going back to school after a divorce is challenging for children because they face new uncertainties at home and school. Talk with your children about their feelings and help them manage their fears before they return to school. Develop a plan to deal with the inevitable questions from school mates about the divorce to help them cope. 1. Tell Their Teacher About the Divorce Make certain you inform your children’s teacher about the divorce, even if you are able to communicate and cooperate … [Read more...]
Why Does Collaborative Divorce Work?
Why does collaborative divorce work? The answer depends on who you ask. Lawyers may say it works because it gets the lawyers and judges out of the way. Clients may say it works because of the control it gives them over their divorces, estates and children. Neutral professionals may say it works because they can bring their one-on-one expertise to bear. My view is different and it is this – it’s none of the above nor any other of the umpteen reasons we might give why collaborative divorce is so … [Read more...]
Twelve Tips For Fighting Fair In Marriage
The rules of fair fighting include giving your spouse warning, picking a neutral spot, and getting mutual consent. Also, allow each person equal time to talk and give feedback. Don’t be afraid of conflict, express your honest feelings, avoid personal attacks, and don’t fight when tired or rushed. Stick to the point, admit you’re not perfect, avoid keeping score, compromise, and never use violence. 1. Give Your Partner Warning, Meet in a Neutral Room, and Get Consent. Don’t surprise your … [Read more...]
Refinancing During Divorce
For divorcing couples whose family home is community property, it’s often their most valuable asset, and who gets to keep it can be a contentious issue. It’s usual for the spouse who has primary custody to want the children to remain in their home, attend the same school, and stay close to friends. However, the divorced spouse can’t always afford to keep the family home because it’s too expensive, so they have to sell, divide the proceeds, and buy smaller homes in the same area. If the couple … [Read more...]
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