Dear Kelly Clarkson, I was reading about your pending divorce with your husband. This is probably a stressful time for you and your family. I have appreciated your artistry over the years and was moved to reach out to you. As a clinical social worker, I have worked with divorcing parents and their children for years and here are a few things I have learned and thought I would share just in case: During the pendency of the divorce and after the ink dries, … [Read more...]
Ten Behaviors of Parents Who Keep Their Divorce Child Focused
When dealing with a divorce where children are a concern, it is of utmost importance to keep the proceedings focused on them and their well-being. A collaborative divorce can achieve this goal, in addition to skipping expensive litigation. Here, we have laid out ten behaviors that divorcing parents should display to keep the divorce child focused, so that parents can promote strong, happy, healthy children during this time. They do not confuse what is best for the children with what is best … [Read more...]
4 Bad Habits of Co-parents and How to Break Them
It’s not a secret that co-parenting is a job in of itself, one that requires many hours of on-the-job training. And since there is so much emotional labor involved, one or more parties might be tempted to lean on bad behaviors in moments of exhaustion or frustration. Here are some bad habits to avoid as a co-parent and how to avoid them. 1. Using your child as a messenger Learning how to be functional co-parents is an extremely taxing and emotional process, so it can seem like an … [Read more...]
How to Protect Children Through Divorce
Children are a primary concern for parents during the divorce process. This time can be confusing and overwhelming for everyone involved, so it is essential to make sure your kids feel safe and protected. Presented here is a quick list of six things that you can do as co-parents to ensure the mental and emotional wellbeing of your children. 1. Be present for your children The process of divorce is complicated, and often requires a good deal of work and attention that you would otherwise spend … [Read more...]
Top Worries Children Have About Divorce
The transition from married to divorce can be daunting for parents. Children may have their own worries regarding the process of divorce. The family dynamic is changing in a major way, so they may have concerns and fears regarding this major life change. Parents are well served by maintaining a sense of security in their new situation and being aware of common worries regarding divorce.1.1.2 1. They will be poor - It is very likely that your financial situation will change after the dust … [Read more...]
5 Tips to Insure Children’s Emotional Safety During Divorce
The time of the divorce can be fraught with confusion, sadness, and even anger. Your child’s emotions may be running high, and it is the opportune time to step in and provide extra care and comfort for them. Emotional distress of children surrounding divorce can be minimized if you and your ex can remember these following tips: 1. Let them share their concerns Your children will have many concerns during this time, and you must listen to what they have to say, and work it out with them. Do not … [Read more...]
10 Things Parents Should NOT Do During a Divorce
Do not put your children in the middle of your conflict. It creates a loyalty bind and may increase emotional distress. Do not allow the children to be a messenger. Parents should talk directly to each other about child-related information. Create a shared calendar for notification, activities, and logistics. Do not take kill shots to the other parent. Spare children from the gory details of the reasons for the divorce. They don’t need to hear negativity from either parent. A divorce is … [Read more...]
5 Tips for Taming Social Media in Two Homes
Social media is here to stay. The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry notes that today’s kids use social media to communicate with peers, experiment with social skills, share self-expression with like minds, and to develop their own identity. According to Pew Research 81% of children 9 to 17 visit social media sites daily. Regulating children’s social media use can be a daunting task for parents especially when they are raising them between two homes. Discussion Between … [Read more...]
The Grey Divorce: Who Wants to See Me Naked?
Some couples complain post divorce that they were not satisfied with the level of intimacy in their marriage. This might have been due to the amount of stress within the marriage, lack of communication, extra marital affairs, or issues of power and control within the relationship. Newly or not so newly divorced individuals may encounter a fear of intimacy due to underlying fears of abandonment, vulnerability, rejection, shame, or guilt. Additionally, one’s sense of self and sexual … [Read more...]
No Need to Reinvent the Wheel: Technology to make Co-parenting Easier
After divorce, communicating with the other parent in a child focused, businesslike manner can be maximized when parents utilize online systems for parents raising kids in two homes. These centrally located programs can assist parents in developing weekly schedules for the kids, provide logistical information, build a searchable history and timeline of key events for children as information is kept “in the cloud” for both parents. Google Calendar: The Google calendar is an online … [Read more...]
