Collaborative Divorce Texas

  • Donate
  • For Professionals
    • Membership Advantages
    • Events/Training
    • Become a Member
    • For Students
    • Volunteer at CDT
    • Advertise With Us
  • Contact Us
  • Login
  • Home
  • Find a Collaborative Professional
  • What is a Collaborative Divorce?
    • What is Collaborative Divorce?
    • Frequently Asked Questions
    • About CDTexas
    • Master and Credentialed Collaborative Divorce Professionals
    • The Gay G. Cox Award for Excellence in Collaborative Law
  • Blog
  • For Collaborative Professionals
    • Membership Benefits
    • Events/Training
    • Become a Member
    • For Students
    • Advertise With Us
    • Volunteer at CDT
    • Login
  • Donate
  • Contact Us
  • What is Collaborative Divorce?
    • What is Collaborative Divorce?
    • Why Use a CDTexas Member?
    • About Us
    • Master and Credentialed Collaborative Divorce Professionals
    • The Gay G. Cox Award for Excellence in Collaborative Law
  • Testimonials
  • FAQs
  • Blog
  • Find A Professional
    • How Do I Choose a Collaborative Professional?
    • Attorneys
    • Financial Professionals
    • Mental Health Professionals
    • See All

Donate

You are here: Home / Blog / 25 Divorce Quotes

25 Divorce Quotes

June 26, 2018 By Harry Munsinger, J.D., Ph.D. Leave a Comment

Divorce is not funny. When someone is going through a divorce, it can be the most painful time of his or her life.  But sometimes it helps to laugh and know that others have been in the same place.

In compiling this collection of divorce quotes, I rejected any that were cruel, angry, or cynical and selected quotes that convey honesty, wisdom, and hope.

1. For Sale: Wedding Dress. Worn once by mistake.  Call Leslie.

2. Divorces are made in heaven–Oscar Wilde.

3. When I was divorced, I went through the various stages of grieving: anger, denial, and dancing around with my settlement check–Maura Kennedy.

4. My husband and I never considered divorce. Murder sometimes, but never divorce–Joyce Brothers.

5. When I got divorced, it was group sex. My wife screwed me in front of the jury–Rodney Dangerfield.

6. She cried–and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook–Tommy Manville.

7. Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house–Lewis Grizzard.

8. You know why divorces are so expensive? Because they’re worth it–Henny Youngman.

9. The judge said, “All the money, and we’ll just shorten it to alimony”–Robin Williams.

10. Divorce is probably as painful as death–William Shatner.

11. I wasn’t actually divorced. I was traded–Tim Conway.

12. In Hollywood, an equitable divorce settlement means each party getting fifty percent of the publicity–Lauren Bacall.

13. A divorce lawyer is a chameleon with a law book–Marvin Mitchelson.

14. There’s nothing like a family crisis, especially a divorce, to force a person to re-evaluate his life–Michael Douglas.

15. An open marriage is nature’s way of telling you that you need a divorce–Ann Landers.

16. Divorce is a game played by lawyers–Cary Grant.

17. The only grounds for divorce in California is marriage–Cher.

18. You never really know a man until you divorce him–Zsa Zsa Gabor.

19. There’s no pain or failure like going through a divorce–Jennifer Lopez.

20. A friend of mine recently divorced his wife after 37 years. He said he was looking for a some-sex relationship–Greg Tamblyn.

21. It takes two to destroy a marriage–Margaret Trudeau.

22. The difference between a divorce and a legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money–Johnny Carson.

23. One of the hardest things in the world is pretending to be surprised that a friend is getting divorced–Julius Sharpe.

24. More divorces start in the bedroom than in any other room of the house–Ann Landers.

25. Even as a kid I got no respect. When my parents got divorced there was a custody fight over me…and no one showed up–Rodney Dangerfield.

About Harry Munsinger, J.D., Ph.D.

Harry Munsinger practices collaborative and estate law in San Antonio. He has over twenty years experience resolving disputes involving divorce, probate, wills, and trusts. Harry was an adjunct law professor at the University of Texas and St. Mary’s University. He has published several textbooks and over forty psychological and legal articles. Harry has been a forensic psychology expert, a licensed psychologist and a litigator.

Filed Under: Blog, Harry Munsinger, Our-Featured-Authors Tagged With: Divorce

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Find a Professional

Getting started with the Collaborative Process?

First your need to connect with a trained Collaborative Professional.

[Find Out More....]

Articles by Category

Featured Video

  • Collaborative Divorce Testimonial
  • Child of Divorce

Why Collaborative?

  • Jennifer Leister
  • Steve Walker
  • Carla Calabrese
  • Dawn Budner
  • Becky Davenport
  • Jody Johnson
  • Honey Schef
  • James Urmin
  • Kurt Chacon
  • Natalie Gregg
  • Robert Matlock
  • Deborah Lyons
  • Carlos Salinas
  • Camille Scroggins
  • Linda Solomon
  • Richard Soat
  • Lisa Rothfus
  • Jeffrey Shore
  • Barbara Cole
  • David Brunson
  • Jennifer Tull
  • Syd Sh
  • Susan Z. Wright
  • Christi Trusler
  • Camille Milnser
  • Linda Threats
  • Sarah Keathley
  • MaryAnn Kildebeck
  • David Bouschor
  • LIsa Marquis
  • Harry Munsinger
  • Vicki James
  • Robin Watts
  • Katie Berry
  • Jack Emmott
  • Jennifer Broussard
  • Patricia Havard
  • Paula Locke Smyth
  • Laura Schlenker
  • Norma Trusch
  • Brett Christiansen
  • Tim Whitten
  • Mickey Gayler
  • Melinsa Eitzen
  • Julian Schwartz
  • MaryAnn Knolle
  • Chad Olsen
  • Chris Farish
  • Charles Quaid
  • Anne Shuttee
  • Barbara Runge
  • Rhonda Cleaves -
  • Jamie Patterson
  • Catherine Baron
  • Kristen Algert
  • Sandra Roland
  • Rhonda Cleaves 2
  • Gratia Schoemakers

Have you read?

Financial Planning for Post Divorce

Divorce is an uncomfortable time for most couples. Even if you are going through the divorce using a collaborative approach, you probably don’t know what to expect from the split – which can be … [Read More...]

More Articles from this Category

The Collaborative Law Institute of Texas

d/b/a
Collaborative Divorce Texas

Proud Members of IACP

1400 Preston Road
Suite 400
Plano, TX 75093
(972) 386-0158

Please note: Our office will be closed on

Holiday closures:
Limited: Nov. 23rd & 24th
Closed: Nov. 25th , 26th and 27th

Christmas:
Closed from December 24-December 30, 2022.
Offices open on January 2nd, 2023.


Website Terms of Usage

Contact Our Webmaster

 

Follow Us

  • Facebook
  • LinkedIn
  • Twitter
  • Vimeo
  • YouTube

Search Our Website

Find A Professional

  • Find a Collaborative Professional
  • Attorneys
  • Financial Professionals
  • Mental Health Professionals
  • See All

Copyright © 2023 · Collaborative Divorce Texas · All Rights Reserved

· · ·

Web Design and Maintenance by The Crouch Group